Thursday, February 15

Friday Mystery Meat.

Ordinarily this is the spot where I'd put a Friday Random Ten, but you kinda got that on Wednesday. So instead you get Meat.

· I've made it clear that Valentine's Day is not observed in my household, but a bunch of us singletons in my building still got together over at a friend's apartment Wednesday night and cooked dinner and bitched about how pathetic our dating lives are. My contribution to this was the three-layer chocolate-raspberry truffle cake you see above, and yes, it was fricking awesome. I'm sorry, I know I'm bragging, but there it is. Ladies: Date me and, in addition to my other outstanding qualities, you get cooked for, all the time.

· I got to watch a lot of completely manufactured non-scandals during the Clinton years -- Whitewater, the White House travel office flap, the Air Force One haircut that supposedly brought the western United States to a grinding halt -- and yet I don't think I got as mad about any of those as I've gotten about this Nancy-Pelosi-wants-a-big-ass-plane thing. For those of you who apparently don't yet know these things, here are the facts: The Bush administration agreed to provide Dennis Hastert with government air transport after 9/11. Pelosi has not asked for anything more than Dennis Hastert got. The House sergeant-at-arms, not Pelosi, suggested that the capability to fly all the way from D.C. to California would be preferable for security reasons. Nancy Pelosi has not requested a C-32; she didn't even request a C-40 (neither of which are a "jumbo jet." She has not made any special requests based on a desire to fly in the lap of luxury or to bring a whole entourage of aides and family members along with her; in fact, she said she'd even fly commercial if it would shut people up. Even the Bush administration, not usually known for going out of its way to defend Democrats, has said the whole thing is "silly."

Now. After all that, if you still believe Nancy Pelosi is an elitist hypocrite who wants special perks for her air travel, guess what? You are a moron. An utter fucking moron. You looked at the unvarnished facts, your misconceptions and assumptions were all debunked one right after another, and you still decided to say, "Nah, I'm gonna stick with the false, trumped-up bullshit."

· I know I'm a big dork in multiple ways, but this is awesome:

It's the Pet Shop Boys as portrayed by Lego minifigures. Just to show the incredible diversity in Lego people, there are a bunch more musical figures, including, but not exclusive to, the Beatles, U2 (both Joshua Tree and All That You Can't Leave Behind versions), Nirvana, and, of course, the Village People.

· OK, one more: Flavor Flav. Yeeeeaaah, boyyeeee.

· In sports news, the NCAA finally got rid of its spectacularly ill-conceived football rule change that made the game clock run in situations where it previously didn't, thereby reducing actual play by as many as 10-12 snaps per game. (Yeah, why would we want to cut down on those precious ads when we could just deprive people of the football action they actually wanted to see? Buncha rubes.) Instead, the NCAA has chosen to focus on a more pertinent source of game slowness -- to wit, shorter team timeouts, and less opportunity for post-TV-timeout dicking around. Fine by me.

· OK, first of all, I think most reasonable people can agree Tim Hardaway is a giant dipshit. I mean, who utters the words "I hate gay people" and "I'm homophobic" in a broadcast interview? Even people who actually hate gay people don't say "I hate gay people" -- well, except for these knob jobs, and I'm not sure even Tim Hardaway would want to be associated with them.

But here's the thing, and stay with me: I don't think he should've had to apologize. I have many gay friends, I'm fiercely pro-gay-rights, but I don't think he should've had to apologize. What does it accomplish? "I'm sorry" or no "I'm sorry," gay people are still gonna think Hardaway is an asshole. And as well they should, because "I'm sorry" or no "I'm sorry," Hardaway is still a homophobe! Notice he didn't say "I'm sorry, I've seen the light, gay people aren't that bad, I'm OK with them now" -- he's sorry, sure, but until he says his views have changed, he's only sorry that he said those things out loud.

But honestly, I don't care whether he's sorry or not. In fact, I wish that more homophobic people would be that blatant about it, and would refuse to be sorry, so the normal people know exactly who they are and can stay away from them.

· The guy I would nominate to go first is Catholic League president Bill Donahue -- only I'm not convinced Donahue isn't going to be the next person to pull a Ted Haggard and turn out to be gayer than a football bat. Like I said, I'm close friends with a number of gay folks, and Bill Donahue does more talking about cocks and anuses than all of them put together.

· Now seems like a pretty good time to end things on a compleeeetely different note, so I'll simply say this: The latest Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is here . . . and for some reason I really want to buy an iPod. Even though I already have one!

Some people are going to quibble that there isn't actually a swimsuit anywhere in this picture; those people are invited to cram it.


Alex said...

This is really besides the point you're trying to make (which I get), but I am really tired of people using "homophobe" to descirbe people who hate gays. A homophobe is a person with an uncontollable fear of gays, someone who hates gay people is just a bigot.

That is all.

**steps down from soapbox**

ACG said...

I'm not sure about the "homophobe, out thyself" idea. On the one hand, it's nice to be able to identify them easily. On the other, though, when celebrities come out and say, "Yeah, sure, I'm homophobic/racist/anti-semitic/sexist/otherwise bigoted, and I'm proud of it!" it's usually followed by a chorus of, "He's so brave! I hate (insert group here) too!" I kind of liked the idea of people being so ashamed of their bigotry that they were afraid to express it aloud. It reinforced the idea that bigotry is shameful.

But I agree that Tim Hardaway's apology was worthless. Why? 'Cause he's not sorry. An apology is meaningless when it comes from someone who isn't sorry.

Anonymous said...

His apology was completely worthless, agreed.

I give the guy credit, though, for admitting that hating gays is homophobic, and that he is a homophobe. He said what he felt, and admitted that his feelings were unreasonable(definition of a phobia). He doesn't deserve praise for "bravery" or any such crap, true, but at least he knows what he is and admits it. First step towards recovery, isn't that what the AA folks say?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a magazine to buy.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, there's another alex here. Confusing. I'll have to start using a handle.

Rather than spend any more time discussing homophobes and bigots, I'd like to focus on the more important part of your post: Legos. This YouTube clip of a Lego "music video" is genius. You're welcome.

Anonymous said...

I was going to say something, and I'm fairly certain it would have been smart and constructive, but then... Marissa Miller happened.

Anonymous said...

1)He bakes;
2)He likes the Pet Shop Boys;
3)He is focused on Gay bashing, bigots and Homophobes.

On the other hand;

1)He can intelligently discuss NCAA rules, and
2)Wants to remove Marisa Miller’s Ipod.

The score stands at 3 to 2, and the Ipod may just be a beard…..

Will said...

I really want to come up with a good double entendre based on "click wheel" and I'm coming up short.

Also, what's the over-under on Hardaway claiming a drug or alcohol problem is *really* behind his anti-gay remarks?
Personally I think a nice bit of karmic justice would be for him to join Dr. Burke in gayhab and the two fall in love or something...

Universal Remonster said...

Will, you're on to something there. Hardaway should certainly go on Doug's "rehab" list. I just think he's bitter because Dennis Rodman turned him down once.

And instead of click-wheel I think the real question is "How much can that Ipod hold?" I know we were all wishing it was a nano right now. I'm off to take a cold shower.

Anonymous said...

Never mind the nano, you could go for a Brazilian look with the shuffle.