Thursday, February 1

I don't like to brag or anything, but I'm now officially awesome.

The handing out of the inaugural College Football Blogger Awards is well underway, and Yours Truly has apparently managed to snow a whole bunch of people into thinking I'm a decent writer. Suckas!

First off, I was the runner-up in the balloting for the "Trev Alberts Quits to Do Construction" Award for funniest blog. This might actually be more impressive than the award I actually won, for the simple reason that the winner of the Trev was Every Day Should Be Saturday, one of the funniest and best-written blogs about anything, anywhere -- meaning that "runner-up" is basically equivalent to "funniest blog by a mere mortal." Hear that? I'm the funniest blog in all of college football that isn't EDSBS. Take that, commenters/ex-girlfriends who say I'm not really that funny!

And now for the award I actually won without qualification:

Hey Jenny Slater took home the Job Award -- that's Job as in "the Biblical book of," not "take this and shove it" -- which is awarded to "The blog that has suffered through its chosen team's dismal season with the most dignity," recognizing "Continued engagement in the face of crippling, misery-inducing defeat. A stiff-upper lip and sane reaction to everything crumbling to dust." I feel quite fortunate and honored to have been presented this award by a fellow Bulldog,'s T. Kyle King.

Mayor Kyle points out that it may not be quite accurate to refer to Georgia's 2006 campaign as "dismal," given that it ended with three consecutive ranked victories, a 9-4 record, and a national ranking. But one could be forgiven for thinking it was headed that way during the middle of the season, in which the Dawgs incurred four dispiriting losses and won three games by embarrassingly small margins against lousy teams. Not coincidentally, that seven-game stretch began with the pulled-out-of-our-asses win over Colorado that spawned the infamous toaster-throwing incident, which I'm fairly certain clinched this award for HJS.

But if you're interested in following my week-by-week chronicling of the Dawgs' fast start, descent into near-disaster, and season-ending Phoenix-like ascension from the ashes, here are all the postgame recap stories in chronological order. (I like to think that I won this award by virtue of more than mere toaster abuse.)

I've been wondering why I'm feeling down . . . (Georgia 48, Western Kentucky 12)
The crowd all love the show, just how far will he go? (Georgia 18, South Carolina 0)
Swear that there'll be murder, tell him that I'm ill (Georgia 34, UAB 0)
How can you expect to be taken seriously? (Georgia 14, Colorado 13)
Once inside, I couldn't believe my eyes (Georgia 14, Ole Miss 9)
I may be wrong, but I thought we said it couldn't happen here (Tennessee 51, Georgia 33)
I made my excuses and left (Vanderbilt 24, Georgia 22)
Waiting for a red-letter day (Georgia 27, Mississippi State 24)
We're lying in the gutter, but we're looking at the stars (Florida 21, Georgia 14)
Don't want to be seen or heard, don't want to shout out loud (Kentucky 24, Georgia 20)
I didn't get where I am today without getting in someone's way (Georgia 37, Auburn 15)
Today I feel like dancing, singing like lovers sing (Georgia 15, Georgia Tech 12)
Was it worth it? Yes (Georgia 31, Virginia Tech 24)

Thanks to all who appreciated what I wrote and voted accordingly -- though I hope I don't sound ungrateful when I say I hope I won't be in a position to compete for this award again next year.

And congrats to the winners, all of whom are rounded up here.


Josh M. said...

I find it hilarious you announce your Internet award by linking to a photo that doesn't exist. Of course, unless your award looked like a little red X.

Or I should just say "Congratulations." Not sure which.

Astronaut Mike Dexter said...

Blame it on your browser, assface, not me -- I can see it just fine.

Though I did win the "Red X Award" from the American Academy of Adult Film Producers two years in a row.

Josh M. said...

Eh, it doesn't change the fact your first link is broken. Sweet, this is fun.

And they say you are good at the internets.

Anonymous said...

Dude, I'm the one with the awesome gland... I got hosed.

Seriously though, congrats.

DAve said...

If I had known I'd get blog recognition for just some destruction of property, I would've burned the house down after the Kentucky game. Of course, I was at the Hartman's house, but still...

Unknown said...

Dear Job,

You had me at demolished toaster.