How did I come to this revelation? Fox News's Chris Wallace showed me the light (link via Atrios):
"I think they would have been very happy to be allowed to defecate on themselves."
- Chris Wallace speaking on Hugh Hewitt's Friday radio program about those lucky Auschwitz victims.
For those of you who are standing on the platform scratching your heads, utterly nonplused, as this particular train of thought careens through the station without stopping, let me see if I can explain how Wallace's particular brand of logic gets from point A to point B: At Auschwitz, Nazis did not allow their prisoners to shit on themselves because they killed them all. However, we let Gitmo prisoners shit on themselves, therefore we are on the side of the angels. Man, how on earth did "Bush '04: He's tanned, he's rested, he's letting you shit your pants" not make it into Karl Rove's pantheon of campaign slogans last year?
Or, to put Wallace's logic as succinctly as possible: At least we're better than the Nazis!
Yeah. That's inspiring.
So take that, Dick Durbin -- at least we're not gassing Jews! Fuck yeah! USA!