Wednesday, June 8
Let's play Spot The Killer!
The man on the left is Cat Stevens, singer of such well-known songs as "Morning Has Broken" and "Here Comes My Baby." Last year he was on a plane that was forced to make an emergency landing in Bangor, Maine, because his name sounded like one on a terror watch list. Stevens was detained by authorities once the plane was on the ground.
The ray of sunshine on the right, the one even Marilyn Manson probably wouldn't want to sit next to on a crowded subway, is Gregory Despres, who arrived at a U.S.-Canada border crossing in Maine last month "carrying a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chain saw stained with what appeared to be blood." Border officials fingerprinted him, took his weapons, and sent him on his merry way. The very next day, cops in Despres's New Brunswick hometown found one of his neighbors decapitated on his kitchen floor -- the dude's head was stuffed in a pillowcase nearby -- and the neighbor's common-law wife stabbed to death in the bedroom.
Now, maybe Cat Stevens had a bloody chainsaw on that airplane that nobody told us about. (Or maybe he was found with a pair of fingernail clippers -- God help you if you try to bring one of those onto a plane.) And maybe Gregory Despres didn't have that slightly craven cult-member stare or Hitler-Youth-meets-Nine-Inch-Nails haircut when the border guards sized him up in Maine last month. But I'm still gonna have to believe that homeland security in this country is still royally screwed up.