Monday, August 31

Monday Morning Cage Match XII:
Two heavyweights in the action genre face off.

Last week's Cage Match pitted an up-and-coming star from Georgia's offense against an opponent with the same last name and (roughly) the same hair color. This week, we turn our eyes to the other side of the ball and pit the hardest hitter of the Dawgs' defense against an action-film impresario who's taken some pretty hard hits of his own: Rennie Curran vs. Renny Harlin.

Renny Harlin

Rennie Curran
OccupationBig-budget film director/producerWeak-side linebacker
WINNER: Harlin
Inspirational storyMade his first short film at the age of 12Family escaped war-torn Liberia and opened their home to fellow refugees
WINNER: Curran
Early success"Die Hard 2"Named SEC Freshman of the Week after a 13-tackle performance against Kentucky in 2007
WINNER: Harlin
High-profile failureDirected "Cutthroat Island," which bankrupted Carolco Pictures and made the Guinness Book of World Records for biggest cinematic flop of all timeFlorida 2008
WINNER: Curran
Redemption (of a sort)"Deep Blue Sea"Repeatedly compressing Javon Ringer's spine in the Capital One Bowl
WINNER: Curran
Romantically linked toa former Miss Finland (dated), Geena Davis (married)In theory, as many Georgia co-eds as he can handle at any given time
WINNER: Curran
Career tackles0168 (107 solo), including 19 for loss
WINNER: Curran

FINAL SCORE: Rennie Curran 5, Renny Harlin 2. Another victory for the 2009 Dawgs. And I didn't even take into account which one would be scarier to run into in a dark alley.


Josh M. said...

Shockingly, Harlin would probably be scarier in a dark alley. The guy is a 6'4", Eastern European, and allegedly has the temper of a wolverine.

Samuli Hirsi said...

...when you tackle polar bears all year long in Finland you surely can handle one Georgia weak-sider...


Universal Remonster said...

I know what the co-eds at UGA are like... but Harlin has dated sme pretty serious hotties in his time. Plus he directed "The Long Kiss Goodnight." Not saying Curran shouldn't win, because he should, but as much of a hack as he may be, Renny harlin is one cool hombre.

Ollllddude said...

LOL - all I can say is this segment started out weak, but now, I have begun looking forward to it. Will it lapse back into weakness when you get a job?

Samuli Hirsi said...

All the Renny's women...