Saturday, December 13

War eagle, fly down the drain.
(Updated with additional piling on.)

If Sunday Morning Quarterback/Dr. Saturday will permit me to steal a little bit of his steez here, I have a question for all of y'all football fans out there.

Coach A has 28 years of experience in coaching, including a few years in the NFL, and has been a head coach since 1995. He is 110-60 lifetime as a head coach, 52-30 in SEC play, has an SEC title and won at least a share of five division titles total. Four of his last five teams have finished the season ranked in the top 15, and one of those teams finished a perfect 13-0 with a Sugar Bowl win.

Coach B has 18 years of experience in coaching, the last two of which he has spent at his first head coaching job. He is 5-19 over those two years, 2-14 in conference play, and has finished no better than fifth in a six-team division. He is coming off a 10-game losing streak to finish the 2008 season, during which his team was winless in-conference.

Now, which is the coach that Auburn fired last week, and which is the guy they just picked to replace him?

No peeking.

ADDED, by popular demand, and by "popular" I mean a couple people who laughed when I told them this: I'm proposing that a new word be added to the Oxford English Dictionary.

chiz · ik ('chiz-ik or 'chiz-ək)
trans v, inf chiz · iked, chiz · ik · ing, chiz · ik · er
to attempt to resolve a problematic or potentially embarrassing situation as quickly as possible without regard to consequences or quality control
The president is trying to chizik the Big Three bailout before he leaves office

2 to effectively give up or admit defeat by submitting a careless, ill-considered solution -- syn PUNT
Let's just chizik this so we can all get out of here for the holidays

generic utterance of frustration and/or panic in response to a question for which one has no pertinent or satisfactory answer
Where did you put the tickets? Our flight leaves in less than an hour
Umm, uhh . . .

Son, what is this we found under your bed? Who taught you to do this stuff?
Dude, I don't know,

Stephanie, your word is 'sesquipedalian'
Uhhh . . . c-h-i-z-i-k,

etym from Auburn University football coach, 2008-


Holly said...

Just when you think they can't up the hilarity stakes any more after interviewing Patrick effing Nix...I gotta hand it to Auburn; they can know their way around a joke.

Anonymous said...

You know it's a bad hire when other SEC schools' fans are outraged too. It devalues the whole conference.

Anonymous said...

If they were gonna go out and make a hire, they should have went with someone that at least knows something about winning as a head coach. Turner Gill would have been a good hire, even though he would be making a major step up from Buffalo, but who is to say that you can't win at Auburn just because you can win at Buffalo.

Deanna said...

I think on Friends they called that "pulling a Monica."

Anonymous said...

If I were Turner Gill I would not take the Iowa State job if they offered it to me. He deserves a shot at a decent program ... but then again, if you can win the conference in your third year at Buffalo, then anything is possible. The only thing I am sure of is that Auburn will not be heard from for at least 10 years.

Anonymous said...

You wanted Obama for prez but Chizic ain't qualified to be Auburn's head coach?