Thursday, December 4

The Friday Random Ten+5(+5) will get to the true meaning of Christmas in a little bit, but for right now it's all about makin' that paper.

Well, it's probably an apropos time to be coming up with a Christmas list, even though I was only 1-for-5 on the one I laid down last year. (And that one item was given to me by my sister. Seriously, where were the rest of you?) Well, I'll try to be a little more reasonable this time, but I'm not promising anything. And I'm not offering any alternate ideas, either. Herewith, Five Things On My Christmas List For 2008:

Lego Taj Mahal ($299.99)
I know we've been over this before, but I feel it has become especially important given that we didn't get to go to Legoland on our big L.A. trip last week after all -- turns out it's two hours down the road in Carlsbad and that would've taken up a whole day. So help me fill the hole in my soul by hooking me up with nearly 6,000 pieces of Lego awesomeness. This is how I can get Knowshon Moreno to be friends with me!

A new Georgia jersey ($74.95)
I wore my "lucky" #4 jersey four times this season: For the South Carolina game (barely gutted out a win), the Alabama game (got blown out of the stadium), the Vanderbilt game (went through the motions and won by 10), and the Kentucky game (gave up 38 points to one of the conference's worst offenses). I'm starting to think that after a full decade of faithful use, the ol' girl is starting to lose her mojo. Maybe 10 years is enough and it's time to throw a new one on my back, but the problem is all I see is #7s and #24s, and nothing against Matt Stafford or Knowshon Moreno but I'd kind of like something nobody else has. Isn't there a #35 out there somewhere to honor remorseless killing machine Rennie Curran? Or, hell, I'd take another lucky #4, banking on Caleb King becoming another superstar if he can ever figure out how to block. Surprise me.

DVDs of all the movies I have on VHS (something like $492.11 for all of them)
OK, I know this is more like 46 things, but I'm what marketing professionals might call a "late adopter" when it comes to technology. I didn't have a DVD player period until maybe four or five years ago, and up to that point I'd still been buying those clunky old videocassettes. Well, now that I've replaced my TV/VCR combo unit with 42 inches of pure plasma-screen awesome, I basically don't have any way to watch all those tapes anymore, and I figure now's probably a good time to start the long process of replacing them. So pick out a couple DVDs off the Amazon wish list linked above (they're ordered by priority) and send 'em my way. Don't make fun of my movie collection, jackass, just do it. (And you can throw "Wall-E" in on that list while you're at it.)

A new digital camera ($224.99)
My current digital camera started fritzing out on me last weekend while we were in Los Angeles -- right as we were getting to all the fun touristy shit in Hollywood, no less -- so I had to spend the rest of the trip snapping whatever pictures I could on my iPhone. I don't need anything particularly fancy as a replacement, just something that takes clear pictures and is easy enough to figure out that a technology-stunted 'tard like me can figure it out. (I freely admit I don't know squat about cameras, either, but I threw the Canon PowerShot up there because I'm dumb enough to figure that anything Maria Sharapova would endorse has to be awesome.)

Cash ($unlimited)
Some people are loath to give this as a gift because they think it seems unimaginative or impersonal. Me? I say bring that shit on, Rockefeller. Don't worry about offending my sensibilities; trust me, I'll get over it.

And just to show that I can be a generous motherf%$@er too, this week's Random Ten is a Random Fifteen. What can I say, I'm a giver:

1. Fun Lovin' Criminals, "Love Unlimited"
2. Underworld, "Blueski"
3. Public Enemy, "Countdown to Armageddon"
4. Gnarls Barkley, "Blind Mary"
5. U2, "If You Wear That Velvet Dress"
6. New Order, "World"
7. Ric Ocasek, "Rockaway"
8. Robbie Williams, "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind Of Thing"
9. 3rd Bass, "Wordz of Wisdom"
10. War, "Low Rider"
11. Pet Shop Boys, "Some Speculation"
12. The Dust Brothers, "Finding the Bomb"
13. Pet Shop Boys, "London"
14. RUN-D.M.C. and Aerosmith, "Walk This Way"
15. The Smiths, "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want"

Your turn -- leave your own Christmas wish lists (and Random Tens, or Fifteens, or whatever) in the comments.


Jerry Hinnen said...

Nice try, Doug, but no one's going to believe that Smiths song actually popped up at random to cap this particular post.

Reed said...

Really, all I want is more time to write. It's been haaaard lately.

1. Tapes 'n Tapes, "Insistor"
2. 2 Skinnee J's, "The Best"
3. Eels, "Your Lucky Day In Hell"
4. Aretha Franklin, "Eleanor Rigby"
5. The Goats, "Aaah D Yaaa"
6. Jimi Hendrix, "Pali Gap"
7. The Beatles, "The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill"
8. Jimi Hendrix, "51st Anniversary"
9. Helmet, "Clean"
10. The Flaming Lips, "All We Have Is Now"

opsomath said...

Ahem. Jerseys I Want:

#1, Massaquoi. Well, duh. The guy represents everything that is good about this Georgia squad. I cry a little on the inside when I realize he won't be here in '09.

#20, Brown. This is also how I felt about Thomas Brown last year.

#35, Curran. Well, yeah. Wreaks destruction on ball carriers, "The Georgia Way."

#36, Southerland. During the LSU game, CBS put up a graphic about how much more the Dawgs score when this human semi is in the game. It was astonishing. But, the thing that got me was the badassery that was him walking out the tunnel with his fist raised - it was on CMR's blog. Gave me shivers.

Astronaut Mike Dexter said...

Jerry, I swear that's what actually came up on my iPod, and to tell you the truth I was too dense to make the connection of how funny it was until you pointed it out.

At any rate, an even better choice (which I also have on my iPod) would've been the Notorious B.I.G.'s "Get Money," which I am making the official motto of Hey Jenny Slater for Christmas '08 and throughout 2009.

Universal Remonster said...

I kind of want a Shaun Chapas jersey.

Anonymous said...

Dude, why don't you just go ahead and switch to Blu-ray since the DVD revolution passed you by. If I hadn't already spent an obscene amount of money upgrading my VHS collection to DVD over the last 7-8 years, that's what I'd do. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Please take off "jersey" from your list. You are not a Northern hockey fan, nor a University of Florida supporter.

No need to be a nerd.

Anonymous said...

Dear Doug,

I was moved by your pitiful pleas, so I tried clicking to see if maybe I could get you one of your DVD requests. Unfortunately, it wanted to make recommendations for me, not you. (Yeah, I have shopped there before). Sorry, you deserve a little something for all the work you do on this blog. Best I can offer is this: Thanks, Doug.

Josh M. said...

Regular DVDs? You want me to get you some cassettes too?!? How about some parachute pants?


DAve said...

Give the jersey thing a few months, Doug. I promise you there will be a #8 available and you'll be able to pimp that thing for the next (strikethrough)three(/strikethrough) two seasons.

DAve said...

Oh and since I haven't thrown out a ten in like ages...

1. The Ventures, "Frosty The Snowman"
2. Elvis Presley, "Jailhouse Rock"
3. Pearl Jam, "Pilate"
4. Leonard Cohen, "You Know Who I Am"
5. Bill Conti, "Training Hard" (this is what I get for copying all of Josh's mp3's)
6. Led Zeppellin "Ozone Baby"
7. Eminem w/ Dr. Dre, "Guilty Conscience"
8. Outkast, "Funkin' Around"
9. Black Sabbath, "Dirty Women"
10. The Rolling Stones, "Hang Fire"

Anonymous said...

"Suprise me" is a dangerous phrase... I mean, 'R. Jones #9' would be a surprise, wouldn't it?