Tuesday, March 22

Walking the razor's edge between Gap-level celebrity and Old Navy-level celebrity, it's . . .

. . . Sarah Jessica Parker, who somehow thinks she's cute and/or popular enough to get away with this (link courtesy The Superficial):

Glamorous "Sex and the City" star Sarah Jessica Parker is said to be less than impressed after being replaced as the face of Gap.

In the same week SJP's new spring campaign for the label hit TV screens and magazines in the US, teenage singer Joss Stone was named to front the summer collection.

The latest ads show the New York style icon getting ready for a day out on the town while singing Broadway hit "Enjoy Being a Girl."

I don't even know who the hell Joss Stone is but I'm already liking her better than Sarah Jessica Parker, and here's why:

"Sarah's spring campaign for Gap has only just started and she felt the announcement of her replacement in the same week that the new ads are appearing is a bit of a snub," one friend said.

"Joss is not only a teenager, she's also a virtual unknown. Had her replacement been a big star, perhaps Sarah wouldn't have minded so much."

Oh, if she'd been a big star! Man, I don't know which alternate reality Sarah Jessica Parker is living in, but in this one you have to be way hotter than she is to be that bitchy. At least Portia de Rossi hot. And even if Sarah Jessica Parker was Portia de Rossi hot, she'd still be annoying. That latest ad, where she's dancing around like some cracked-out sorority pledge? Every time she says "I enjoy being a girl," I get this urge to shout back at the TV, "Yeah, well I enjoy making 40 percent more money than you for doing the same work. Ass."

Well, now I can enjoy my wardrobe (which has more Gap items in it than some actual Gap stores, incidentally) without knowing that Sarah Jessica Parker's big ol' horse face is associated with it. (And yes, I know Portia de Rossi isn't so much playing for my team anymore, and no, I don't want to hear about it.)

ETA, while I'm on a roll here: Apparently the product SJP is advertising in the "Being a Girl" ads is called "Pretty Khakis," which is somehow even more annoying, and disappointing coming from a company I've come to know and love as much as the Gap. I mean, you can can advertise your product as being pretty or great or revolutionary or whatever, but when you put that adjective in the name of the product itself you're sort of asking to be thrown in with the kind of products that are sold through late-night infomercials. It would be sort of like GM coming out with a car called the Chevrolet So Awesome. Though, admittedly, I'd rather drive around in the So Awesome than something that looks like this.


Josh M. said...

They say the worst thing that can happen to a guy is that you have sex with a girl repeatedly, and then they become a lesbian. Well, I must say, when Portia did it, I really didn't mind too much.

Michael said...

Sarah Jessica Parker's big ol' horse face

That sums up my opinion of SJP. She's one of those celebrities that people think are attractive because they are told to think that.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE SJP! She's great.

Shame on you, Doug. Shame on you.

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