Saturday, June 18

Oh, yeah, I take it all back.

Turns out all those right-wingers were right and I was wrong: Guantanamo Bay is a paradise come to earth, and Dick Durbin is a pussy Osama-loving traitor for so much as uttering one word about it.

How did I come to this revelation? Fox News's Chris Wallace showed me the light (link via Atrios):

"I think they would have been very happy to be allowed to defecate on themselves."

- Chris Wallace speaking on Hugh Hewitt's Friday radio program about those lucky Auschwitz victims.

For those of you who are standing on the platform scratching your heads, utterly nonplused, as this particular train of thought careens through the station without stopping, let me see if I can explain how Wallace's particular brand of logic gets from point A to point B: At Auschwitz, Nazis did not allow their prisoners to shit on themselves because they killed them all. However, we let Gitmo prisoners shit on themselves, therefore we are on the side of the angels. Man, how on earth did "Bush '04: He's tanned, he's rested, he's letting you shit your pants" not make it into Karl Rove's pantheon of campaign slogans last year?

Or, to put Wallace's logic as succinctly as possible: At least we're better than the Nazis!

Yeah. That's inspiring.

So take that, Dick Durbin -- at least we're not gassing Jews! Fuck yeah! USA!


Anonymous said...

Well, here's the opinion of one federal judge per the BBC:

"US judge blocks Yemeni jail move

Many of the prisoners have been held without charge since 2001.
A US judge has blocked the transfer of 13 Yemeni prisoners from Guantanamo Bay, because of fears for their safety.
Lawyers argued the men could face torture or be held indefinitely if they were sent back to Yemen or moved to another country.

The men will stay at the US base in Cuba until the court considers a motion requiring authorities to give lawyers 30 days' notice before moving them.

The Pentagon wants to reduce the number of prisoners at the military prison.

There are about 540 detainees at Guantanamo Bay, including more than 100 each from Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia and Yemen.

The Pentagon wants to transfer hundreds of prisoners to their home countries, for release or continued detention. However, previous attempts at transfers have stalled because of concerns about US security and prisoner mistreatment.

Most prisoners at Guantanamo, many of whom are held without charge, are no longer considered to be of any intelligence value.

Most were captured during the invasion of Afghanistan - a response to the 11 September 2001 attacks - and named by the US as enemy combatants."

March 14, 2005, BBC

I say let's send 'em packing!

By the way, Doug, not one detainee has died at Gitmo.

Anonymous said...

C'mon Doug, don't even begin to justify Durbin's malicious rant. It represents the worst of American politics. Worse, it will be played over and over in the next election and it won't help your cause. The repubs will bury you with it. Damn, what a clueless bunch. You all can bitch until the cows come home but if you keep losing at the polls, you're just pissin' in the wind. Keep it up and they'll beat you with another buffoon in '08.

Anonymous said...

C'mon Doug, America is big enough for folks like you and me, as well as guys like Morty that see find no displeasure at self defecation. Pee on religeous texts, burn the flag, it's all ok, and may be the next big thing in porn now that George dines with the porn stars and texas oilmen offer to pay them for threesomes with thier mistresses. You have admit it's guys like morty, george and mary cary that won the last election by being in touch with conservative values! So what if they shit on themselves? It's not like we sodomized them with a lightstick or anything like that!

Anonymous said...

Dick Durbin compared the murder of millions of helpless innocent non-combatants with a terrorist shitting himself (2 years ago I might add)and Wallace pointed out the folly of it.

I'm ok with that.

Anonymous said...

So Steve, If I compare Bush dining with porn stars to Sodom on the Potomic you would be ok with that as long as I don't compare torture with actually killing someone?

Anonymous said...

Yes Bill. I'm ok with that.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Bill, that's OK. Big difference between pain/discomfort and death. Eh?

Anonymous said...

Comparing Gitmo to Hitler is out of line but ... one of the things I love about this country is we aspire to be better than "not as bad as Hitler."

It's a war of ideas, folks. We'll win this one by proving our way of life is better than theirs.

Josh M. said...

To quote Mark Steyn, "Spot the odd one out: (1) mass starvation, (2) gas chambers, (3) mountains of skulls, (4) lousy infidel pop music at full volume."

Anonymous said...

So are you saying that as long as we are not as bad as say we were when we moved the Cherokee or executed the Rosenbergs we can play all the Britney Spears we want? Rock on Josh! Fuck yeah! At least we aren't as bad as Pol Pot! Shit lets hook up the electrodes to Novak and see if we can shock the truth out of his fat ass! Maybe then we can find out where this traitor got Plumes' name from! Hell lets hook 'em up to Rudolph and get the names of those that supported him while he was on the lame (since Bush's Justice Dept gave him such a cushy deal compared to the one Clinton's gave McVeigh we will have a lifetime to do it,,, I always figured the Repugs were weak on crime.) Pol Pot killed everyone that could read, Bush just wants to know what everyone is reading, that's no where near as bad so we freedom loving americans should just shut the fuck up!

Anonymous said...

Yes, Bill, please, just shut the fuck up.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for saying please Ann,