Tuesday, June 14

Must . . . not . . . post . . . about Michael Jackson . . . must . . . resist . . .

This morning I briefly considered posting about the Michael Jackson verdict, and then immediately hated myself for even entertaining such a thought. For this I deserve swift and severe punishment, which will be delivered in the form of a stern spanking from Angelina Jolie just as soon as I can get her agent on the phone.

So instead of a post on the verdict, howsabout another installment of Death Is Not An Option:

· The Michael Jackson supporters or the Terri Schiavo protestors?

· The Confederate battle flag or the "national Christian flag"?

· Being forced to listen to Christina Aguilera's music at high volume in Guantanamo Bay, or having a glow stick rammed up your ass at Abu Ghraib?

· Kellen Winslow Jr. or Jeff Kent?

· Making your kid spend the night at Michael Jackson's house, or making him ride "Mission: Space" at Epcot?

· Paris Hilton, or these chicks?

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