Friday, June 3

Who among us doesn't love a good burn?

Normally I try to stay away from celebrity feuds, but this thing with Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields really caught my attention recently. Full disclosure -- in spite of the fact that I like quite a lot of the movies he's been in (I was one of the two people in North America who liked "Vanilla Sky," for crying out loud), I've thought Tom Cruise was kind of a twit for a while now, and not because of the Scientology thing (well, not just because of the Scientology thing). Your mileage may vary, but I'm sorry, nobody who goes on "Oprah" and acts like this has any business criticizing anyone else's pharmaceutical proclivities. I'm sure Tom's two kids were just as proud as can be watching their dad go on national TV and acting like a total raisin cake to declare his love for a woman who'd be old enough to be their mom only if she got knocked up as a freshman in high school.

But anyway, I mention this mainly because Shields responded to Cruise's sticking his show-me-the-moneying, Joey-Potter-banging Scientologist nose into her personal business with one of the best burns of the year so far: reports that Shields took a dig at the 16-year age gap between Cruise, 42, and his new girlfriend Katie Holmes, 26, by offering him a child ticket so he can take her to see Chicago in London.

"If he wants to see Chicago, I've left him two tickets -- one adult, one child," she reportedly said.

Heh. Is it bad that I'd take Brooke Shields over either of the two chicks Tom has gone out with since dumping Nicole Kidman, and probably Nicole Kidman too, now that I think about it? (Although she did look pretty hot in the trailer for "Bewitched" . . . I'll have to get back to you on that one.)

Anyway, with that in mind, it's time for the return of everyone's favorite parlor game, Death Is Not An Option:

· Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes or Britney Spears and Kevin Federline?

· "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" or "Mission Impossible III"?

· George W. Bush or Jacques Chirac?

· The Burger King Enormous Omelet Sandwich or the Hummer H2?

· This guy or this guy?

· Taking a 10-hour flight from Munich to Atlanta with a nasty head cold, or cramming 11 frozen embryos into your uterus?

· Newsweek or E!?


Michael said...

I love one of the comments on the frozen embryo blog.

"You can't ship a baby fed-ex!!!"

I think that proves that embryos are not babies. I'm trying to see the stares I'd get if I wanted to ship a baby cross country via fed-ex.

"It'll get there overnight."

Anonymous said...

I support abortion rights and stem cell research. What I don't support is the automatic assumption that people who don't are toothless idiots or right wing religious zealots. This is not a black and white subject. We have no debate on it because one side is baby killers and the other slow witted jesus freaks.

Now. Who supports a state mandated abortion for Britney? That's a tough one for both sides.

Anonymous said...

Do I have to EAT the H2 or just HAVE one? (must.refrain.from.oral sex.jokes.)

Anonymous said...

That's odd Steve, I actually agree with you on that (I will try to keep agreeing to a minimum,,, and for clarity I do not support a mandated abortion for Miss Spears. If she wants to keep playing this "Let's get pregnant to make Bill jealous" game then let her. I have moved on. We were never right for each other and I had no interest in her.)

Also I don't think it is right to keep bringing up the Kidman/Cruise divorce everytime I am around. I have stated before, and now do so again:


These innuendos are both cruel and counter productive to the discourse at large. Let it rest, once and for all.