Friday, October 15

The Friday Random Ten+5 gets roasted.

Don't know if y'all heard, but a very funny individual passed away a couple weeks ago -- Greg Giraldo, a Comedy Central regular and veteran of the stand-up circuit. If you've never seen one of his Comedy Central roast appearances or heard his stand-up album Good Day to Cross a River, check out one or the other (or both); he had the kind of sense of humor that was awfully good at hitting people right where it hurt the most, yet you never got the impression he was only doing it for shock value. Above all, it had to be a good joke, and it usually was.

Anyway, his death got me thinking, who would I want laying into me if I was somehow fortunate, rich, or just ridicule-able enough to earn my own roast? Obviously can't have Greg Giraldo at it now, but there are a few other people I think I'd like to have there to give me the skewering I have richly deserved for years now. So this week's +5 is the Five Comedians I'd Invite To Destroy Me At My Celebrity Roast . . . take it away, folks:

Tina Fey
Obvious choice to be the headliner. Which reminds me, I hope every one of y'all caught last night's live episode(s) of "30 Rock"; if you didn't, you can catch every last minute of cameo-filled goodness here.

Patton Oswalt
Probably my favorite stand-up comedian in the world right now. And an entirely appropriate choice for someone to roast me, as his existential angst and misery so closely mirror my own. Yet he was the voice of Rémy in "Ratatouille," so I could almost kind of sort of pass it off as family-friendly.

John Oliver
Graphic insults and dick jokes? Most people would probably find that inappropriate. Graphic insults and dick jokes in a very proper British accent? Would really class up the proceedings, I think.

Dave Chappelle
The great thing about having Dave Chappelle do your roast is that not only would he deliver a hilarious string of insults, he might be able to hook up Wu-Tang or De La for the after-party, or perhaps even the event itself. Greatest Roast Ever? I think so.

Dave Attell
When I told Holly I was putting Dave Attell on my list, she asked me, "Do you really want Dave Attell in the same room with your mom?" My answer: Yes, because that would be hilarious. "So, Mrs. Gillett, masturbation: Let's talk about it." (Holly's reaction: still highly disapproving.)

And the Ten:

1. Randy Newman, "Louisiana 1927"
2. Isaac Hayes, "Chocolate Salty Balls"
3. Pet Shop Boys, "Always"
4. Röyksopp, "Only This Moment"
5. Mose Allison, "I Don't Worry About a Thing"
6. David Holmes, "Commercial Break"
7. Miley Cyrus, "Party in the U.S.A." (yes, I have this on my iPod, and you know you love it)
8. Dr. Dooom, "I Run Rap"
9. Stereolab, "Brakhage"
10. Moby, "Down Slow"

Your turn, folks. List your preferred celebrity roasters and/or Random Tens -- with or without Miley -- in the comments.

And I'm off to Savannah for a long weekend . . . I should be able to get on here while I'm out of town, but if I don't, well, that means I got into some horrendous trouble with the genteel society of Savannah, most likely alcohol-related, and woke up face-down and hungover in the Garden of Good and Evil. Which reminds me, if y'all have any bar/restaurant recommendations for me, throw those in the comments, too, while you're at it.


Reed said...

Holy shit, Doug. That's the worst news I've heard in a while. Giraldo was quite simply my favorite comedian - it was as if someone built him in a laboratory just for me. While I agree he was an amazing roaster, his standup routines were fiery, unique rants that had me on the floor. Thanks for passing the news. I'm gonna bummed all weekend.

random ten:
1. Aretha Franklin, "Without Love"
2. Sky Cries Mary, "Scapegoat"
3. Pond, "Mubby's Theme"
4. Built to Spill, "Distopian Dream Girl"
5. Star Pimp, "Gold"
6. Tom Petty, "All or Nothin'"
7. Fred Bongusto, "Il Divorzio"
8. Depeche Mode, "Clean"
9. Spearhead, "U Can't Sing R Song"
10. Guns N' Roses, "Patience"

Ollllddude said...

"Chocolate Salty Balls" is a great name for song and Isaac Hayes is just the guy to do it.

Russell said...

It's ridiculous how much I look forward to "The Ten" every week. Well, it's more like; "Oh look "The Ten" just hit my reader, time for a giggle."

Keep up the good work or better yet, don't blow it, we're all counting on you.

rikiwiki said...

Go to Pinkie Masters. One of the best dive bars in the world.

Chris said...

One recommendation for a very good lunch spot is Zunzi's

Great South African food and a must stop anytime Im in Savannah for lunch.

Anonymous said...

Tina Fey
Demetri Martin
Steven Wright
Mitch Fatel
Mike Birbiglia