Monday, July 7

Behold, the Tech Man.

A phone conversation I was involved in Sunday night may have provided the genesis for this week's +5, as in Five Things I've Never Had To Stoop To In Spite Of Being Generally Hopeless With Women -- i.e. getting a woman drunk to have sex with her, availing myself of the services of a prostitute, concocting a fake "Canadian" girlfriend, etc. etc. etc. To that list you may now add this:

ATLANTA – The movie, "Never Been Kissed" starring Drew Barrymore told the tale of a woman who was seeking her first kiss. For a 20-year-old Georgia Tech student, it's a real life situation and now he's going to great lengths to make sure he learns in a hurry.

The popular website is used by many to find a car, an apartment or to sell an old refrigerator.

Georgia Tech junior Michael McCarty has placed an ad to find some help in the kissing department.

That's right -- this 20-year-old has never kissed a girl before and would like to know how. Now, I'm the mother of all late bloomers, as I'm sure I've mentioned numerous times here, but I'd still been involved in numerous make-out sessions by age 20. But then again, going to Georgia as opposed to Georgia Tech no doubt helped me considerably in my efforts to catch up.

McCarty said he went to the drastic measure of placing an ad because he wanted to impress a certain girl. The special girl is a co-ed from Maryland that McCarty has been chatting online with for years and the two will be meeting soon.

"I think she's my soul mate so I can't wait to see her next week," McCarty said.

Now, that part's actually kind of sweet. I just pray to God, for this kid's sake, that Maryland doesn't turn out to be a dude.

Anyway, funniest sentence in the whole article coming in three, two . . .

McCarty's mother, who was surprised by the ad, said she hoped her son gets the happy ending he wants, but not too much experience. [my emphasis, obvs.]

Bit of a contradiction, that.

This bio says that reporter Julia Harding, who wrote the article, attended Towson University in Maryland, but as someone who worked many, many hours at The Red & Black at UGA, that sounds for all the world like the kind of innuendo that a former R&Ber would've slipped into an article at a Techie's expense.

And now for the money shot:

McCarty said he hoped the ad will turn the tide and change the fact that he's never had a girlfriend.

"I guess I've been on the computer too much playing video games and not going out and meeting people as much as I'd like to," said McCarty.

Everything, and I mean everything, about the Georgia Tech Xperience can be summed up in those two sentences; they are beautiful. They are as perfect a stereotype of a Techie as any UGA grad has ever held, and they have the added bonus of being true.

(Hat tip: Mayor T. Kyle King, who has made me a happy Dawg fan today.)


JasonC said...

But what happens if some girl actually answers the ad and she teaches him, but in the midst of that, he falls for her instead of the online girl?
And I can't believe he hasn't had one girlfriend that would kiss him, I mean he has a FERRARI!!!11!!! computer, that is.

Josh said...

Oh man, I'm proud of myself. Called into 790 The Zone a little while ago pretending to be a Tech student. Got on the air briefly, saying how maybe I too would finally get kissed. The first and only time I've ever said "Go Jackets."

Universal REMONSTER said...

Wow. Just.... wow.