Blessed are the topless, for they shall inherit the earth.

Britney Spears has posted a message to her fans on her Web site thanking them all (both?) for their continued support during her divorce, head-shaving, revolving-door rehab stints, and whatever else has been going on in her life lately. "We are all lights of the world and we all need to continuously inspire others and look to the higher power," the former Mrs. Federline writes. "You are all in my prayers. Godspeed."

Touching, no? Here's a screenshot of this heartfelt message:



My question is, is Britney always topless when she looks to her higher power? Does that get your prayers answered faster? I can't speak for God, who I'm sure is far more morally upstanding and far less susceptible to cheap come-ons than I, but all other things being equal, if two girls ask me for the same thing and one of them has her tits out and the other doesn't, I'm filling the topless girl's request first.

Then again, at least she appears to be making some attempt at covering up. Maybe God caught her at an awkward moment. "Oh! The Lord almighty! Sorry, I was just in here trying on gloves. But as long as You're here, would You mind if I prayed for all my fans?"