Now joining Time magazine and its "100 Most Influential" list in the barrel: Maxim magazine -- which, yes, I used to subscribe to way back when -- and their "Hot 100" list for 2007, which features Lindsay Lohan at #1.
Lindsay Lohan. Lazy-ass, cooter-flashing, borderline-illiterate cokehead Lindsay Lohan. Not this Lindsay Lohan from three years ago, the fresh-faced ingenue prepared to take Hollywood by storm; this Lindsay Lohan, who looks like she'd be more at home flashing her tits for Mardi Gras beads in the infield at Talladega.
Conspicuously not chosen for #1: Jessica Alba, who had to settle for #2; Angelina Jolie, apparently not even considered top-10-worth at #12; Elisha Cuthbert, stuck back at #25; Alessandra Ambrosio, even further back at #51; Joanna Krupa, #66.
Not appearing on the list at all: Erin Andrews; Jill Wagner; and yes, Melissa Theuriau.
In graphic terms, we're meant to believe that this
is hotter than this, this, or this:
Uh-huh. When future media historians look back and try to peg the date when Maxim officially and irrevocably jumped the shark, May 15, 2007 will be it. I have a feeling Esquire subscriptions are about to spike in a big way.