Tuesday, May 15

Skanks for nothing.

Now joining Time magazine and its "100 Most Influential" list in the barrel: Maxim magazine -- which, yes, I used to subscribe to way back when -- and their "Hot 100" list for 2007, which features Lindsay Lohan at #1.

Lindsay Lohan. Lazy-ass, cooter-flashing, borderline-illiterate cokehead Lindsay Lohan. Not this Lindsay Lohan from three years ago, the fresh-faced ingenue prepared to take Hollywood by storm; this Lindsay Lohan, who looks like she'd be more at home flashing her tits for Mardi Gras beads in the infield at Talladega.

Conspicuously not chosen for #1: Jessica Alba, who had to settle for #2; Angelina Jolie, apparently not even considered top-10-worth at #12; Elisha Cuthbert, stuck back at #25; Alessandra Ambrosio, even further back at #51; Joanna Krupa, #66.

Not appearing on the list at all: Erin Andrews; Jill Wagner; and yes, Melissa Theuriau.

In graphic terms, we're meant to believe that this



is hotter than this, this, or this:




Uh-huh. When future media historians look back and try to peg the date when Maxim officially and irrevocably jumped the shark, May 15, 2007 will be it. I have a feeling Esquire subscriptions are about to spike in a big way.

5 comments:

Will said...

"Beads"?
"Talledega"?

Uh-oh. Let's just hope, as UGA fans that the "firecrotch" didn't actually go to Talledega, because Stafford would've been all over it, and lord knows she's not going to say no. And then our starting QB would have any # of strains of VD (and could potential introduce them to UGA coeds) heretofore unheard of.

Also, while Erin Andrews is damn cute and I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers, I would kick her out of bed for being a UF fan, and she's got enough of that midwest/upper midwest accent that conversation'd have to be kept to a minimum.

Newspaper Hack said...

Do you really think Maxim readers will switch to Esquire? That's like Cosmo readers subscribing to The Economist.

Josh said...

Erin Andrews has had more work done than Interstate 85.

I'm sure it's a coincidence that Lohan has a movie out now, by the way.

Anonymous said...

Maxim sold out many moons ago. This "news" isn't suprising at all.

Anonymous said...

i would rather read maxim than g.q.
if that ok with you guy`s at mamim
frakie c from newark delaware
cipollafrank@comcast.net