Thursday, August 18

Grease is the word.

I was kind of surprised when I read that Waffle House is turning 50 this year, because I would've figured it was a lot older than that. I mean, yeah, the '50s was kind of the decade in which the diner-style restaurant really took off, but doesn't it seem like Waffle House has been around forever? Can't you just picture 1920s flappers pulling up to Waffle Houses in their Model T Fords after a long night of partying at the speakeasy? OK, maybe it's just me.

So many fond memories of the Waffle House -- most of them having taken place a) no earlier than 2 a.m. and b) in a drunken stupor, but hey, quit judging me. I have the distinction of having met the hottest Waffle House waitress in history, which I know is like saying I met the world's fattest anorexic, but fo' really, she was a friend of mine from high school who went to Auburn and, for a time, worked her way through school at the Waffle House on College Avenue. I don't know quite why she did it -- I think more than anything she just wanted to have a story to tell -- but there you go.

Waffle Houses in college towns are the best just because of the sheer volume of drunk college kids swarming them after last call. The one at Five Points in Athens had to have a security guard monitoring it all through the night, the crowds got so big. In effect, he was a bouncer. A Waffle House with a bouncer. Who would've ever imagined? "OK, you, you, and you. Not you. You're not on the list. No hash browns for you, assface."

Feel free to share your favorite Waffle House memories in the comments thread. Extra points if you can name three or more of the Waffle House-centered jukebox songs right off the top of your head.

10 comments:

ACG said...

Nirvana, "The End;" something by Jay-Z; and I don't know if this ever made it onto a jukebox, but the Gadjits had a song called "Waffle House Is Not a Home." Does that count?

Kevin said...

No Waffle House for me. We had a Denny's...which is essentially the same thing, just way more overpriced.

There is actually a 24-hour diner right down the street from me in Fells Point, MD that I pop into on occasion...at 2:30-3:00am.

I was actually so drunk a few months ago that I ordered food...and just got up and left. The cook chased my stumbling ass down AND TACKELED ME! Needless to say, I went back, sat down, paid, and left again...all before getting my food.

I know...I have problems...

Mark said...

Favorite Waffle House memories:
1) Meeting up with the cook at jury duty and getting absolutely ripped.
2) Getting mugged in the Waffle House parking lot, and then having the Chamblee cops saying they couldn't do anything about it because the asshole's dad was on the Olympics Committee.
Also, recognize that the awesome AP Waffle House article linked to above was written by Kristen Wyatt.

April said...

I've never been to a Waffle House *gasp*. My family always went to Denny's or Perkin's. But I've always seen Waffle Houses in any state wherever I go. Jukebox songs...well these are ones I remember from Silver Diner but I'm sure that they can be found in Waffle House jukeboxes too.

1. Respect by Aretha Franklin
2. What's Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner
3. The Flame by Cheap Trick

Do I win extra points?

zillah said...

my Waffle House memories are limited to an all-male a cappella group at Haverford College that, at the end of my sophomore year, released a CD called "scattered, smothered, covered, and chunked."

and they were the *cute* a cappella group.

thus ends sad, sorry state of affairs that was the life of a straight girl at bryn mawr.

Josh said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Josh said...

Easy call - and of course my best WH memory was at the Five Points location in Athens. It was PACKED at about 3 a.m., and there were some incredibly drunk and loud fratties sitting at the "bar." They were so loud, in fact, they were given multiple warnings to please be quiet by a Big Black Cook, who looked menacing but was very soft-spoken. Finally, it just got too much, and BBC guided them toward the door (without actually ever touching them).

Everybody in the place was very happy they were leaving, and then watched enraptured as one of the guys started yelling in BBC's face. We couldn't hear what he was saying through the glass, but BBC just stood there and took it.

Finally, the frat boy said the one word he definitely shouldn't have said to any BBC at any time, anywhere. Everybody read his lips, knew it the second he said it, and gasped.

The peaceful look on BBC's face never wavered, but his fist did crunch pretty damn hard into fratty's face. The place ERUPTED in cheers. Of course, the cops were immediately called by fratty's friends, and half the restaurant went outside to defend BBC. The cops ended up telling the fratties to go home, and BBC to just go back to work. Very exciting evening.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh, yes. This brings back fond memories of my days at Wahhabi U. in Riyadh. What fun. Me and Sarqawi standing under the grandstands at the football field looking up burkahs and swilling fermented date squeeze. The first two shots tasted like camel piss but no bad after that. Only one thing to cure that hangover: a pork chop dinner WH next to the camel trail to Islamabad.

Thanks for the memories brother doug. You brought a tear to this old camel jockey.

Tell Cindy to keep up the good work. She's the greatest!

WH Akbar!

Osama said...

Ahhhh, yes. This brings back fond memories of my days at Wahhabi U. in Riyadh. What fun. Me and Sarqawi standing under the grandstands at the football field looking up burkahs and swilling fermented date squeeze. The first two shots tasted like camel piss but no bad after that. Only one thing to cure that hangover: a pork chop dinner WH next to the camel trail to Islamabad.

Thanks for the memories brother doug. You brought a tear to this old camel jockey.

Tell Cindy to keep up the good work. She's the greatest!

WH Akbar!

jen said...

we don't have Waffle House, but we did have Shari's. Nothing like piling 7 people in a honda civic (coupe, not sedan) and heading to shari's at 2:30 a.m. during finals week because we all want to sleep but have too much homework to do and pulling out our respective take-home finals while the waitress brings us coffee without even asking if we want it, just knowing we NEED it is enough.