And I come through again:
OLATHE, Kan. ? A high school student convicted of battery for vomiting on his Spanish teacher has been ordered to spend the next four months cleaning up after people who throw up in police cars.
Johnson County Magistrate Judge Michael Farley said during the sentencing Tuesday that he considered the boy's actions "an assault upon the dignity of all teachers."
The story goes on to say that while the boy claimed he threw up because he was nervous about his final exams, other students testified that he had planned the, uh, throwing-up days in advance. Making this a first-degree vomiting.
I don't know about y'all, but I think throwing up is the absolute grossest thing the body is capable of doing. Yes, before anyone even asks, grosser than diarrhea. If someone vomited on me, I'd probably have to rip off all my clothes right away and then race home and take a shower for three hours. And even then I'd still be smelling the Phantom Vomit Smell wherever I went. Weeks later I'd be out on a date or something and she'd be trying to have a conversation with me and I'd still be like, "Is it on me? I feel like it's still on me." Anyway, my point is that there's no punishment too severe for this kid. Somehow we have to nip this vomiting thing in the bud right away and drill it into the heads of our nation's young people that vomit is not an acceptable weapon. Punch people, carry a nine in your backpack if you must . . . but deliberately unloading the contents of your stomach on someone, that's just wronger than wrong.