Tuesday, July 19

On reputations to uphold, and all that rot.

Dang, I'm thinking I need to go out, buy a HandyCam and make myself a sex tape, because evidently I'm the only person left on Earth who hasn't made one:

LOS ANGELES - Actor Colin Farrell is suing a woman for allegedly trying to distribute and profit from a sex tape he says the two recorded with the agreement they would never make it public.

The lawsuit filed Monday in Superior Court seeks general and compensatory damages as well as a temporary restraining order and injunction prohibiting the sale and exploitation of the videotape.

Fair enough, if she'd agreed to keep it under wraps and then reneged on the promise. But this is the bit that really got me:

"Defendants' outrageous attempt to capitalize on the celebrity of plaintiff Colin Farrell ... through their unauthorized commercial exploitation of the highly private and confidential videotape exceeds all bounds of common human decency," the lawsuit states.

The lawsuit also said the release of the videotape would irreparably harm Farrell's reputation and career. [My emphasis.]

Colin, are you f$#!ing kidding? Your "reputation" is of a libertine, perpetually boozed-up Mick who has plunged his spear into more actresses, models, and slutty wannabes than he can count. I'd say your "reputation" is not only safe after the release of this videotape, it's been robustly reinforced.

Here's a tip, aspiring famous people: If you want to make a videotape of yourself doing something with your significant other, but are still concerned about your good name, film yourselves making a sandcastle on the beach or reading to handicapped kids at a library. It's much safer.


Steve said...

Or he has a really small penis and doesn't want the world to see it. Then he'd have to buy a Hummer.

merlallen said...

Colin who?

ACG said...

I actually did have wonderfully naughty feelings about Colin Farrell - up until the point where he boinked Britney Spears. Bad Boy only goes so far. After that, brutally hot or no, he was just plain tainted.