In addition to being a kind of scary-looking guy who doesn't see what the big deal is about all those priests molesting altar boys, Pope Benedict XVI is -- you ready for this? -- a sign that the end of the world is near. G$#dammit, did none of the cardinals bother to look at that part on Ratzinger's resume? "Experienced in use of Microsoft Word and Excel; proficient in HTML and Java, as well as all seven sacraments; papacy would speed the coming of the End of Days."
But it's not like we even needed another sign of the coming apocalypse, what with the plague of exploding toads in Germany, Paris Hilton talking about becoming a mom, and oh, yeah, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes becoming an item.
Oh, and Ahmed Chalabi being named the fucking oil minister in the new Iraqi government. The same Ahmed Chalabi who whispered sweet nothings into the ears of the Bush administration about how occupying Iraq would be easier than a game of Candy Land and then turned right around and started cozying up to Iran. Why is he occupying the Tony Montana Executive Suite at the Iraqi Oil Ministry right now and not a jail cell? Dozens of Iraqi prisoners, many of them completely innocent, get paraded around naked at Abu Ghraib and sodomized, and we couldn't save a glow stick for this guy?
Christ. I can't think about this anymore, it's making my head hurt. Here's the Friday Random Ten for this week, and after that I'm putting my brain in Hibernate mode until 5 o'clock rolls around and it's beer-consumption time.
1. Avenue Q cast, "I Wish I Could Go Back to College" (lyrics here)
2. Pet Shop Boys, "Up Against It"
3. Air, "Sexy Boy"
4. DJ Shadow, "Six Days"
5. Beck, "Soul Suckin Jerk"
6. Jefferson Airplane, "Volunteers"
7. Pet Shop Boys, "A Red Letter Day" (Basement Jaxx remix)
8. Thomas Dolby, "She Blinded Me With Science"
9. Dead Kennedys, "Let's Lynch the Landlord"
10. A Tribe Called Quest, "Money Maker"
If you've got an iPod or some kind of mp3 player, put your own Random Ten in the comments below, and if you don't have one . . . just put in the names of ten songs you really like, or something. Look, I'm not your dad. You don't need my permission for every little thing.