Thursday, April 28

If you're angry and you know it, clap your hands.

Now that Dennis Miller has done a backwards triple-gainer into irrelevance (with one-and-a-half twist to put him in better position to kiss Bush's ass) -- a dive that, oddly enough, carries a difficulty of only 1.0 -- I hereby propose that the title of Ranter Laureate be bestowed upon the richly deserving TBOGG, along with his own talk show. (Not on CNBC, of course. I mean a channel people actually watch.)

A taste:

Face it. We're selfish. We're all about us and if it doesn't put a new XBox in Cody & Dakota's room or fill up the gas tank of our 12-mile a gallon TerraCrusher XLT, we don't want any part of it. Freedom for the other guys? That's their problem; when is X-Men III coming out? But threaten our "way of life" (which is more about a plentitude of internet porn, the ability to buy a 64 oz. BladderBuster? of Mountain Dew for eighty-nine cents, and Calvin pissing-on-something car window stickers than it is about Jeffersonian democracy) and we're shipping the few, the proud, the aren't-a-legacy-at-Yale off to a country that most Americans couldn't find on a map if you spotted them the continent.

Yet Time's "Blog of the Year" award went to three idiot-savants whose biggest contribution to society has been a superhuman ability to . . . recognize Microsoft fonts. I know, I know, life ain't fair . . . but I didn't realize it was this unfair.

Anyway. Go read.

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