Wednesday, November 28

Wednesday Mystery Meat ties up some loose ends.

Just a few things that have been zipping through my brain while I've been hanging out here with my good friend Mickey, twiddling my thumbs and waiting to find out whether I should book my plane tickets for Miami or L.A.:

· According to a source within the Georgia Tech fan base I consider reliable -- and no, it's not my cousin or the guy at the Varsity who says he gives Dan Radakovich a large Frosted Orange every day for the price of a small -- a couple names have taken the lead in the Tech coaching search. One of them is Will Muschamp, which should come as a surprise to exactly no one; I think he's a good guy (he did go to Georgia, after all), but suffice to say I'm a lot less worried about him now that the Dawgs have lit his defense up for 35+ points two years in a row. The other, though? Worries me a bit. That would be your friend and mine, Slick Rick Neuheisel.

There are thirteen billion tiny differences between these two pictures . . . see if you can find them all!

If a total 180 from the Chan Gailey era is what Radakovich wants -- and it pretty much is, for any number of reasons -- you couldn't do much better than Neuheisel. Whereas Gailey had the public image of the consummate old fart, Neuheisel's still in his forties; whereas Gailey's offense was so conservative he probably had a third-down punt somewhere in his playbook, Neuheisel likes it wide frickin' open; whereas Gailey considered even a lukewarm cup of Ovaltine before bed "too racy," Neuheisel apparently sits up and plays guitar with his players into the wee hours. And, of course, he's a hell of a gambler to boot. Does that frighten me a little? Well, uh, yeah; my admiration for Slick Rick is well-known (I pimped him for both the Georgia OC job and the UAB head-coaching position last year), and the one overriding common denominator of Tech's failures over the past six years -- namely, Gailey's head-slappingly subpar job of developing quarterbacks -- is something he seems eminently capable of turning around in a hurry.

And yet -- some car salesmen have a rule that no matter how perfect a car may be for a given buyer, if he can't picture himself in it, if it just doesn't "fit" his personality, he may not buy it. And I wonder if this might be that kind of situation, in both directions. I have just as hard a time picturing charismatic, guitar-playin' Slick Rick getting down with Tech's willfully nerdtastic culture as I do picturing Tech's fan base -- who love lording their alleged moral superiority over the Dawgs, to the point where sometimes you wonder whether they don't love it more than actually winning games -- embracing a guy with as much NCAA baggage as Neu has. Then again, Radakovich isn't a "Tech man," nor has he been all that quiet about his willingness to disregard all those old-guard conventions to get an energetic, program-defining guy. So what the hell do I know? In the end, as long as Neuheisel, Muschamp, or whoever promises to lose their first three games to Georgia so that we can run our streak to a nice round 10, I don't care what the hell else they do.

· Notice I said "alleged" moral superiority just now. Here's Trey Dunmon, "Tech man" and proud upholder of the GT tradition, explaining those high-minded ideals to Georgia DE Brandon Miller in the waning moments of last week's UGA-GT game:

Yes, that's what's known as a "clip," kids, and the refs considered it blatant enough to toss Dunmon from the game. Fine, he did it, he was appropriately punished, and I'd be willing to let it all go if not for this forum thread in which #74's daddy came to his little boy's defense.

Was a chop block that got him tossed. So the guy turned a little and caught it in the back.

The way we look at it, his stock with the Oakland Raiders may have just went up a few points.

But thanks everyone for the support.


Naturally, all those fine upstanding "Tech men" immediately condemned his flippant attitude, right?

breaking a UGAg players leg due to intensity is totally acceptable here.

I'm glad there was a GT player that had the intensity to try to make a legit play, but it turned out bad and got tossed. Those refs were total retards anyway.

Tell Trey we appreciate him, and to keep up the hard work!

And, of course, you can set your watch by the moment when a Techie steps up to compare Mark Richt's excessive-celebration order in the Florida game to the illegal cut-block. So, in case you're scoring at home, dancing in the end zone to celebrate a TD? Thugs! Deliberately trying to injure an opposing player? Intensity! Thank God for the infallible moral authority of those Tech guys, or else we'd never know how to respond in these situations.

Actually, I do know how to respond: Chip Dunmon, you're a piece of shit and so's your kid. Hey, lay off me, I'm just being intense! But if anyone sees a middle-aged, twice-divorced dude in a #74 Tech jersey at the UGA-GT game a year from now, I hope you'll be kind enough to inform him how we deal with that kind of thing in Athens.

Nope, not this year, kiddo.

· Now that I've laid into the Techies for a spell, I unfortunately have to toss some leftover vitriol at a few of my fellow Dawgs. I've been perusing some of the comment threads lately, reading the speculatin' on Georgia's bowl destination and this and that, and it's been brought to my attention that a few of you are still clinging to this idea that, by virtue of their identical conference records, Georgia and Tennessee are "co-champs" of the SEC East.

As Dennis Miller used to say before he became an unfunny Bush-administration ass-kisser, let it go. Walk away from it. It never happened.

I don't care what the SEC Web site says -- hindsight is 20/20, and the SEC East championship was decided back on October 6 when we went into Knoxville not giving a fuck and got pasted by the Vols 35-14. Tie, broken; championship, decided. We're not "co-champs" any more than John Kerry is the co-president. If you're a Dawg fan seriously expecting to get some kind of credit for this silly-ass "co-championship," you're no better than the Techies who claim an ACC "co-championship" from 1998 because they managed to finish with the same 7-1 conference record that Florida State did -- in spite of the fact that FSU crushed them 34-7 in the regular season.

Besides, we don't need to pull some contrived co-championship out of our asses to be proud of what the Dawgs have accomplished this season. We're ranked #4 in the country, we're rising a six-game winning streak (the last five coming against bowl-bound teams), and our ultimate bowl destination could very well be better than Tennessee's. All that's not enough to distract you from splitting hairs over "co-championships"?

What, you don't think I'm a lovable coach? I'M LOVABLE, DAMMIT!

· Finally, it is worth pointing out that Virginia coach Al Groh, last seen topping Stewart Mandel's list of the worst coaches in Division I-A, has just been named ACC Coach of the Year. This after overcoming a 5-7 season last year -- and, it should be said, a staggeringly awful performance against Wyoming in this year's opener -- to go 9-3 this year and come within a game of the Coastal Division championship.

But then this is hardly out of the ordinary for Mandel's worst-coaches lists -- not too long ago, he put Chan Gailey at the top, only to see Chan the Man go 9-5 and win a Coastal Division title one year later. With this kind of track record, I can only guess that if Karl Dorrell somehow manages to keep his job after this season, he'll top Mandel's list in 2008, and will follow up that dubious distinction with a 9-3 record and a Holiday Bowl berth. He'll probably go 6-6 and get the ax the very next season, but hey, it's all about makin' that paper.


Anonymous said...

I had not thought about it, but if Oklahoma beats Missouri, and Pittsburg beats West Va then Georgia plays Ohio State. This is the sort of day dream that comes from too much spare time I suppose.

Ben Rockwell said...

I'm not sure why any of us read those AJC posts because 95% of them are by idiot UGA Wal-Mart fans WHO TYPE WITH THE CAPS ON AND MISPEL WURDS!

With that said, you're right. We're not co-champs, and I'd be embarrassed if we backed into the national championship game. I'd be a hypocrite because I cried VERY loudly a few years ago when OU backed in w/o winning the Big XII.

Give me a Rose Bowl berth and a chance to play with the big boys of USC. We'll see how far we've come and how far we need to go (if any length at all).

BTW, Tech lies and cheats.

Anonymous said...

I am a conservative myself, but I'll name a dozen leftist comedians who I find funny. I mention this because I think only political homerism has explains how you can quote Bill Maher favorably in one post and then diss Miller in the next.

And Even still, it's homerism too-far, much like those UGA fans who claim co-championship of the SEC.

Mahar in anathama to funny. He's smug and insuferable, like a Ga tech fan. Maher wakes up each day and wishes he had half of Jon Stewart's fan's and half of Dennis Miller's intellect.

I'm curious, because I have never met someone with a sense of humor who thinks that Bill Maher is a funnier man than Dennis Miller. Do you?

New Top Five suggestion: Funniest Commedians. Brian regan is so far above everyone else we won't even count him (Kinda like that PlayBoy article in the 80's about party-schools, that excluded UGA on the same grounds)

And No, Maher is not a libertarian. That's just something stupid celebrities say to make themselves sound smarter.

Anonymous said...

What a thought, ZB - if Georgia plays OSU, there may be some familial blood letting going on! I guess I will root for WVa and Oklahoma to win so the police do not have to chase me down! Too bad it could not be, for the fun Oklahoma vs. Ohio - Oklahoma occasionally uses the OSU initials and we would then have OSU vs. tOSU!

Anonymous said...


The play was blown dead, the UGA player had quit running and was basically just standing there watching. It was a cheap shot. Period.

Since no one's leg was actually broken I wouldn't gas, but the bloggers pumping this up from the Tech side trying to justify it are going to cause someone's leg to be broken. I am going to do my best not to laugh if it happens to #74.

Oh, and anyone who thinks Brian Regan is funny should not comment about comedians in general. Bill Maher isn't the funniest guy on earth, but Dennis Miller couldn't even be funny on Monday Night Football.

D said...

Trey Dunmon shouldn't have thrown that block and deserved to get tossed from the game...but don't act like a UGA player has never done such a thing. Refs made the right call, there is no place for that.

Will said...

Brian Regan? Funniest comedian? Really?

And speaking of "high character" potential coaches, let's not forget they're also thinking about Tater Tot Bowden.
Oh he may still drink, but unlike at Auburn they won't have to worry about him hitting on pretty coeds.

Astronaut Mike Dexter said...

Just for the record, my quoting of Bill Maher in an earlier post was not intended as an endorsement of Maher as Funniest Comedian Ever. Maher's OK, but on the occasions when he tries to substitute smarm for actual jokes, he loses me.

On his worst day, though, Maher can run rings around the pathetic hack that Dennis Miller has become. I used to think Miller was a genius, but for several years now he's been dumbing down his comedy to the point where he's barely a step up from making "Heh, look at the raghead/hippie/immigrant" jokes. And while I try to keep my comedy and my politics fairly well-segregated, I don't think it's any coincidence that he started doing that right about the time he leaped onto the Bush bandwagon after 9/11.

At any rate, if you're looking for the funniest comedian, look no further than Patton Oswalt. Great stuff.

Universal Remonster said...

Hey Will, easy on Tater Tot, I'm friends with his son.....

When I saw that clip I was so mad I promptly threw my empty bottle of Sierra Nevada out my living room window into the woods. Of course I picked it up later, after I realized that griping about blown calls and unsportmanlike conduct is pretty much all tech has been reduced to now. Plus I didn't want to litter.

Anonymous said...

Checking out Oswalt now.

Aside from not being funny, Maher just gets my goat. I always want to give him a good short punch in the jaw. Obsequious Prick.

I haven't paid much attention to Miller in the last couple of years, but his initial transformation from the ubiquitous "Pragmatic libertarian" stance that so many comedians take, to that of outright Bush supporter didn't precipitate a dumbing down of his jokes.

I'll always love him for his defense of Bush as someone who, "Gets up every morning, scratches his balls, and says to himself 'lets go kill some terrorists'", and his Defense of the Iraqi invasion on the grounds that "We needed to kick SOMEONE’S ass, and Saddam was holding the golden wonka ticket". Both positions were funny and agreeable (to me), but perhaps less tenable today. (I personally believe the genius of those two statements is that they survived all the other war justifications, but I don't want to be the one that starts a political discussion on your blog)

I guess his shows have become inundated with punditry, but that may be a limitation of the form. And besides, the left always equates conservatism with stupidity.

Anyhow, now that I have lost all credibility here, I address the other point: Yes, I firmly believe Brian Regan is the funniest comedian alive. I'll defend the proposition on any grounds you set.

Anonymous said...

Funny thing....a post with Slick Rick and Dunmon in the same column...I am familiar with both of their growing up status. Rick was lovingly raised by parents Dick & Jane (I kid you not) and Trey was dumped off on his grandparents to raise and only now that his son is a Div 1 player is dad back in the picture (as you can tell his son missed out on some great life lessons by not living with the Great Santini)...anyway...goes to show you that you can be a slime whether you grew up in a good home or not.