 Lexus |  Texas | |
| Founded | 1989 | 1845 |
| WINNER: Texas | ||
| Immediate impact | Loss of market share for established German and American luxury-car brands | A new slave state, war with Mexico |
| WINNER: Lexus | ||
| Major products | IS-series sports sedan, LS460 luxury sedan, RX350 sport-utility vehicle | Oil, livestock, cotton, football stars, batshit-crazy politicians |
| WINNER: Lexus | ||
| Motto | "The Pursuit of Perfection" | "Friendship" (seriously) |
| WINNER: Lexus | ||
| Awards/ distinctions | Named most reliable auto brand in the U.S. fourteen times by J.D. Power and Associates | Largest of the lower 48 states, 2005 college football championship |
| WINNER: Texas | ||
| Do they make hybrids? | Yes | That sounds like one a them faggot-ass hippie tree-hugger cars |
| WINNER: Lexus | ||
| Responsible for George W. Bush? | No | Yes |
| WINNER: Lexus | ||
FINAL SCORE: Lexus 5, Texas 2. Damn, Texas, you just officially got messed with.
5 comments:
Texas, messing back:
Um, how's this for immediate *and sustained* impact: 160 years after paving the way for Manifest Destiny, Texas created more new jobs in 2008 than the other 49 states COMBINED. Our GDP is $1.245 Trillion (~10% of US GDP), second highest in US. Seriously, you're comparing us to a fucking Lexus?
Major products: Without our oil, your Lexus is a shiny $50,000 lawn ornament. Plus, "Dallas," Willie Nelson and Shiner Beer and Dell computers aren't major products? Really?
Do they make hybrids? Yes, the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid is manufactured in Arlington, TX, and the Scorpion hybrid "supercar" is manufactured in Marble Falls, TX. Also, Texas is a hotbed of companies that make batteries for hybrids, including Valence Technology.
5-2 Texas, messing with Lexus.
You got us on Dubya, but we did give you Ann Richards and Ron Paul, and I'm pretty sure Lexus doesn't have any of those lying around.
What about Alexis Texas?
Don't Mess With Tommy.
I love Texans. They'd give a spirited defense of slavery if it had anything to do with state pride. Awesome.
Yeah, what Tommy said. And I'll throw Molly Ivins and Jim Hightower on top of that shitty Lexus. I'm sure Molly could hack it up reel nice.
And, yes, thank you Holly. Texas Pom Team's chaps should count for something.
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