Monday, July 20

Monday Morning Cage Match VI:
Whores vs. just regular naked ladies.

As the Senate confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor were getting started this time last week, you heard a lot of folks make mention of the fact that the United States Senate is considered "the world's most exclusive club" due to the fact that it has only 100 people charged with deciding so many important things. And there's definitely some truth to that, but is it really the most exclusive club? I tried thinking of other groups that might have even fewer members, and you'll be shocked to discover that the first possibility I came up with was Playboy Playmates. (After all, in a given six-year stretch there will be at least 100 senators, but only 72 Playmates.)

Well, because I was laid out for most of this past week and had nothing better to do, I went combing back through Wikipedia to find the exact numbers, and it turns out that since Marilyn Monroe became Playboy's first centerfold in December of 1953, 670 different women have been Playmates, but only 476 different people have served any length of time in the U.S. Senate. So the Senate is, in absolute statistical terms, the more exclusive "club" here, but is it really the best club to be a member of? That's the subject of this week's Cage Match: Playmates vs. Senators.




Playmates


Senators
Ruler of the roostHugh HefnerJoe Biden
WINNER: Playmates
Method of selectionHugh Hefner and photographers select from photos and bios sent by thousands of aspiring modelsPopular vote
WINNER: Tie
(Senate selection is more fair,
but Playmate selection sounds way more fun)
Rewards/
privileges of selection
$25,000, virtually unlimited access to Playboy Mansion, C-list acting jobs$174,000-$193,400/year, voting rights on legislation affecting the entire country, final approval of all Supreme Court nominees
WINNER: Senators
Most recent member(s)Twins Karissa and Kristina ShannonComedian Al Franken
WINNER: Playmates (sorry, Al)
Hottest member(s)All of 'emMary Landrieu (D-LA), obvs
WINNER: Playmates (sorry, Mary)
Most accomplished member(s)Marilyn Monroe, who later became a world-famous actressJohn F. Kennedy and Barack Obama, who later became president
WINNER: Senators (sorry, Marilyn)
Spend large amounts of time withHugh Hefner, the Girls Next Door, Sugar Ray LeonardHarry Reid, Mitch McConnell, Jim Bunning, Jeff Sessions
WINNER: Playmates

FINAL SCORE: Playmates 5, Senators 3 (and probably one of those cases where the actual competition wasn't even as close as the score indicates).

2 comments:

indavao said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tracer Bullet said...

Creepy old white guys:

Playmates: Fondled by
Senate: Populated by

Gotta give that one to the Playmates.