Monday, July 6

Monday Morning Cage Match IV:
Heavily armed VTOL ground-attack aircraft vs. AWW WOOKIT THE WITTLE BABY.

For the first time in the history of the Cage Match, I've got a dog in the fight -- a literal dog in the fight, come to think of it -- but I'll try to be as objective as I can in judging the battle royale of Harrier vs. Terrier. No animals will be harmed in the production of this post.

[Boeing/BAE Systems AV-8B] Harrier

[Boston] terrier
Price$30-35 million$300-$1,000
WINNER: Terrier
LineageHawker P.1127, first flown in 1960Bull-and-Terrier and various breeds of bulldogs, first bred in the 1870s
Original purposeGround/naval attackPit fighting, catching and killing mice and other vermin
WINNER: Harrier
CutenessNegligibleOFF THE CHARTS
WINNER: Terrier
LethalityConsiderableGenerally only to stuffed toys and Milk-Bones
WINNER: Harrier
Biggest drawbackNot supersonicGassy
WINNER: Harrier
Notable ownersArmed forces of the United States, Italy, and SpainRose McGowan, Famke Janssen
WINNER: Terrier

FINAL SCORE: Harrier 4, Terrier 4. From which we are forced to conclude that both are equally awesome.


Universal Remonster said...

I think you should pit them against each other as a tiebreaker... my money is on the terrier.

Lewan said...

I had a Boston Terrier when I was growing up.....Sparky was a great dog, and phenomenally spoiled. He slept in the bed, got all kinds of food that he shouldn't, and generally went wherever he wanted. Made up for it by getting me tons of girls in HS, though.

runningbyrd said...

Terriers are ugly and lame. Great Danes FTW!