Thursday, February 14
This Very Special Friday Random Ten is neither special, nor random, nor Friday. Discuss.
Well, it's Valentine's Day again, or as I like to call it, Still Not Getting Laid Day (also known as "Thursday," as well as "Monday," "Friday," "Saturday," "Tuesday," "Sunday" and, well, "Wednesday"). And that means it's time for another one of my Annual Relationship Failure Updates (previous updates hyah and hyah.)
• Last spring, I asked out this really cute blond girl who waitressed during Sunday brunch at Cosmo's in my neighborhood. She looked really familiar, and it turned out the place I knew her from was a party I'd gone to the previous Christmas; she was actually the date of one of the guys throwing the party. Now, this guy's a friend of mine, he's a decent guy, but he's even more clueless around women than I am, so I figured maybe I might look like a step up after that. And for a while, it appeared that was the case: We hit it off pretty well on our first date, when we met up for drinks one Saturday night after she got off work, and it turned out her day job was also at UAB, so we had plenty of UAB-related stuff to talk about.
A couple weeks later, we went to see "Ocean's Thirteen," and I asked her what she was doing the following week, and she said she was going to be out of town for a work-related conference all week but we could do something when she got back. I called her when she'd gotten back into town, left a message on her voice-mail, and never heard from her again.
• There was this really cute barista at the Starbucks right around the corner from my apartment, and one day I'm working on this big project for the nursing school here, and who shows up but the barista -- she's a nursing student and she's one of the students who's having her picture taken for this project. We chat for a while, I see her a few weekends in a row while I'm getting my Sunday-morning mocha, and one of those weekends I pull the trigger and ask her for her phone number.
Now, figuring out first-date activities has always been a challenge for me, but this time I think I've got a good one: There's a screening of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" at WorkPlay that week, and she says this is one of her favorite movies. So I ask her if she wants to meet me and some friends of mine there for the movie, and she says sure. I figure this is a perfect setup -- interesting activity, it's a group of people as opposed to just her and me, so no pressure -- and everything seems like it's going pretty well. As we're leaving, I tell her that I'm headed to Athens that weekend for the Auburn game, but would like to do something with her when I get back, and she seems receptive to this.
I go to the game, Georgia kicks ass, I come back, I call her, I leave a message on her voice-mail, and never hear from her again.
• In between these two, right around the end of spring, I reconnected with a girl I'd actually gone out with a couple years before -- she was a medical student I met through one of the friends I’d made with the Clark campaign back in '04. Anyway, this girl and I really connected on a level deeper than "Heh, she's hot" -- which, and I'll be completely honest here, I have a habit of not setting my sights any higher than that -- and she even defied the odds by going out with me more than once. Many times more than once, in fact! But it was all destined to be cut short, because after a couple months she left to spend a year in Zambia, working with a UAB outreach project in women's and maternal/child health.
It took us a while to hook back up after she returned to the U.S. because she was busy trying to graduate from med school -- which I hear isn't the easiest thing in the world to do -- but we started seeing each other again, hit it off just like we did the first time, and for once I'm dating someone whom I feel completely comfortable with and whom I'm attracted to on far more than just a superficial physical level. Almost like I'm, you know, finally maturing and stuff. So what happens? She graduates from medical school and starts her residency . . . which is at a hospital in Boston. The one in Massachusetts.
So thanks to me being in the right place at the wrong time -- two separate wrong times, if you think about it -- even when something goes right, it doesn't go right. And that has been the Relationship Failure Update for 2008.
And here's the Valentine's Day Not-So-Special, Not-So-Random Ten, my own personal collection of slow jams designed to get you in the mood that I'm usually in when this particular day rolls around on the calendar.
1. DeeJay Punk-Roc, “The World is My Ashtray”
2. Joy Division, “Atrocity Exhibition”
3. Dr. Dre, “Deeez Nuuuts”
4. Dead Milkmen, “If You Love Someone Set Them on Fire”
5. Kaiser Chiefs, “Everyday I Love You Less and Less”
6. The Bloodhound Gang, “You’re Pretty When I’m Drunk”
7. Avenue Q cast, “The Internet Is for Porn”
8. Ween, “Piss Up a Rope”
9. Dead Kennedys, “Forward to Death”
10. Johnny Cash, “Flushed from the Bathroom of Your Heart”
Feel free to commiserate in the comments thread with your own stories of EPIC FAIL in the romance department.
ADDED: Practically Harmless has some other suggestions for how to be civilly disobedient today. Well, maybe scratch the "civilly" part, but whatever.