When my sister and I were little and there was something we wanted to do but couldn't, or there were two things we wanted to spend our money on but could only afford one, or we wanted to sit around being lazy and watching cartoons but we had chores to do or service commitments or something like that, my mom's phrase was always "offer it up" -- i.e., offer it up to God, make that your sacrifice for that day, give it to Him instead of yourself as a sign that you're trying, that you recognize there's something out there bigger than yourself.
Welcome to life in a Catholic household. Guilt? You're soaking in it!
But anyway, that brings me to my real point, which is that Lent is coming up -- it starts next week on Ash Wednesday -- and a whole season of offering-up is fixing to get started. Normally we Papists give up one or two things, but I figured, hey, why not go above and beyond the call duty and make it a nice round five. Yup, this week's +5 is Five Things I'm Giving Up For Lent:
I gave this up for Lent last year and ended up losing like five pounds. So I figure why not. Giving up chicken fingers is gonna hurt, though. If I was trapped on a desert island and could only eat one kind of food for the rest of my life, it'd be chicken fingers.
This is part of a larger, ongoing effort on my part to tone down my language a little bit in general. When you drop phrases like "son of a bitch" and "cocksucker" in staff meetings at work, it might be time to rein things in just a tad.
Submitted without comment. (You're welcome.)
This one's probably going to be the toughest out of all of them, because oh, how I loves me a vodka martini (straight up, with a twist) every once or twice in a while. But I figure I had to give up booze of some kind, and liquor's more expensive than beer, so I figured this might save me a little money over the next couple months.
Yup, for the next 40 days I'm off the junk. Now all I can do is sit and wait for that baby to start crawling across the ceiling.
So what does all this mean? . . . Well, it means that on Tuesday evening, you'll be able to find me in my apartment, rubbing one out while I tear through a fucking party-size bucket of Guthrie's, guzzle a fifth of Stoli, and inject some of Afghanistan's finest between my toes.
I'm only kidding, of course. Mostly.
Anyway, the Ten:
1. Pet Shop Boys, "It's Alright" (10" version)
2. Fatboy Slim, "Love Life"
3. The Beastie Boys, "Shadrach"
4. Serge Gainsbourg, "Aéroplanes" (Readymade's bold mix)
5. Prodigy, "Smack My Bitch Up" (DJ Hype remix)
6. Pete Heller, "Big Love"
7. Fatboy Slim, "Push and Shove"
8. 3rd Bass, "Desert Boots"
9. Orbital, "You Lot"
10. Eric B. & Rakim, "My Melody"
Let's hear about your own Random Tens and/or Lenten sacrifices in the comments thread, folks.