Thursday, February 7

The Friday Random Ten+5 extends a helping hand to the GOP.

So the Mittster has dropped out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination, the race has all but been dropped into John McCain's lap, and some hard-core right-wingers are a little upset about this. Many of them, I'm sure, will hold their noses and vote for McCain in November anyway, if only to forestall the possibility of a Hillary Clinton presidency, but others are still prepare to fight tooth and nail to get a "true conservative" (whatever the hell that means these days) into the White House.

And whereas I would've just sat back and laughed at these folks before, I'm taking my man Barack Obama's message of bipartisan cooperation to heart and giving them some assistance. It's not too late to throw one last challenge at McCain in the GOP race, guys. This week's +5 is Five People The Right Wing Could Nominate Instead Of John McCain:



Jack Donaghy
He's confident, he's ruthless, he singlehandedly turned around GE's microwave-oven division; who's to say he can't turn around a country? And after his brief fling with Democratic Congresswoman Celeste Cunningham, he's even made just enough inroads on the Left to push some legislation through in a hurry and get things done. He's bow-hunted polar bears, he once drove a rental car into the Hudson to practice escaping, he's showered with Greta Van Susteren . . . he can handle running the most powerful country in the world.



Chuck Norris
His qualifications for the job, of course, have already been laid out in painstaking detail. And his close association with Mike Huckabee -- did Huck make a single campaign appearance in either Iowa or New Hampshire without Chuck Norris standing right behind him? -- means he's already made some major inroads into the halls of GOP power. Be honest, Huckabee supporters, the only reason you voted for Huckabee to begin with was because you thought he was going to name Chuck his VP.



Jim Tressel
Hails from a state that's gone red in the last two elections; perennially strong on defense; reliably conservative on offense. A proven winner, he owns the Midwest and Upper Great Lakes regions. His only weakness is that he's certain to get annihilated by any opponent who hails from south of the Mason-Dixon Line, but since the two remaining Democrats are from Illinois and New York, even that won't be a problem.



Ronald Reagan's reanimated corpse
The current crop of candidates mentions his name every other goddamn sentence in their stump speeches, you figure somebody's probably come up with this idea already. Ironically, though, the Repubs will almost certainly have to overcome their obsession with stem cells to make this one a reality. And finally . . .



Hillary Clinton
Demonize her all you want, Republicans, but in your heart of hearts, y'all know that your best days were when she and Bill were in the White House. It was when they left and y'all were running things for yourselves that you started f%$#ing things up like it was your job. If nothing else, this move would bring new hope and a sense of purpose to the lifeblood of your party, right-wing talk radio; nobody wants to hear Rush Limbaugh whine about how John McCain isn't conservative enough for the next four years, but man, if y'all nominated Hillary and made it a Clinton-Obama general election, your talk-radio nut jobs could spend the rest of the year bashing two Democrats and not have to come up with any new ideas on their own, which, be honest, they probably didn't have anyway. And then whichever one gets elected, you can rail against them 24/7 on the radio and it'll be just like the salad days of the mid-'90s again.

And now the Ten:

1. Thievery Corporation, "Encounter in Bahia"
2. Zero 7, "Destiny"
3. Dead Kennedys, "Kill the Poor"
4. Deep Forest and Peter Gabriel, "While the Earth Sleeps" (long version)
5. Beck, "Hell Yes"
6. Orbital, "Chime" (7" version)
7. A Tribe Called Quest, "What Really Goes On"
8. Depeche Mode, "I Feel You"
9. Talisman & Hudson, "Leave Planet Earth"
10. The Clash, "Career Opportunities"

Leave your own Tens, and your suggestions for the Repubs if you have 'em, in the comments.

13 comments:

NewsDawg32 said...

John Stewart was on point about Mitt's goodbye speech.

1. Tangerine Dream, "Force Majeure"
2. Talking Heads, "Road to Nowhere"
3. Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Under the Bridge"
4. Fatboy Slim, "Weapon of Choice"
5. Prince, "Controversy"
6. Pink Floyd, "A New Machine part 1"
7. The Allman Brothers Band, "Trouble No More"
8. Otis Redding, "I've Been Loving You Too Long"
9. A Tribe Called Quest, "The Infamous Date Rape"
10. DJ Kool, "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School reunion Remix '96)"

And one to grow on: JJ Johnson, "Blue 'N Boogie"

A little jazz to finish it out.

Rival said...

That is a disturbing and slightly disrespectful image of Reagan, even if this crop of Republicans do spout his name every chance they get.

McCain: Reagan.
Huck: REA-GAN
Mitt: REAGAN!!!!

But the image does not sit well with my morning coffee.

Kanu said...

Can't think of anyone else- still kind of asleep.

McCain's got 2 chances to win:

1. Dems nominate Hillary, because as much as the uber righties hate McCain, they hate Hillary 10,000x more. Hell, I think some of them would vote for OBL over Hillary, such is the level of hate.

If it's McCain-Obama I think Obama beats his ass, and it's not even really close {although if anyone can fuck up a sure thing, it's certainly the Democrats}

2. There is another terrorist attack on US soil before the first week in November. If that happens, queue the fearmongering and tired old R/D cliches, and McCain wins easy.

The Ten:

1. 'Lazy Loungin" by Jo Manji, from 'Cafe Del Mar Vol. 12'

2. "Rise And Fall {feat. Sting}" by Craig David, from 'Slicker Than Your Average'

3. "Three Little Birds {Alternate Mix}" by Bob Marley, from 'Songs Of Freedom Disc 3'

4. "Akhaenaton E Nefertiti" by Olodum, from '25 Anos De Samba-Reggae Ao Vivo'

5. "Music Makes Me High" by Lost Boyz, from 'Legal Drug Money'

6. "Cookie Jar" by Jack Johnson, from 'On & On'

7. "Heebie Jeebies" by Louis Armstrong, from 'Ken Burns Jazz Disc 1'

8. "Onda" by Los Lonely Boys, from 'Los Lonely Boys'

9. "A Nigga Wit A Gun" by Dr. Dre, from 'The Chronic'

10. "Star Signs" by Leona Naess, from 'Leona Naess'

Happy Weekend To Everyone

Anonymous said...

Hillbillary, Osama Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, Chucky Shumer and, Chappaquiddick Teddy. What a line-up!

I guess all these assholes and assholettes can always keep blaming others and hold more investigations. They certainly don't have any answers to solve the country's problems which is mostly of their own making.

The Dems have been in charge of Congress now for almost 2 years and have a 21% approval. Makes ole GW's 35% look good. Don't hear the liberal media report this too often do you?

What I want to know is who the hell is the 21% that approve?

Well, if you poll Congress and, then you have Hollywood and, the media and, Doug. Hey, that's not 21%.

Intelligence doesn't equal wisdom.

Anonymous said...

They can still blame Bush.

DAve said...

I lack the biting wit and reasoned, rational repartee' of Anonymous 12:28 so I will hold any possible disagreements until I feel I am better qualified to debate the nuanced particulars of this pressing national matter.

That said, it is true the Democratic-controlled Congress currently has (and has had) a significantly lower approval rate than President Bush's. Just sayin'.

We may be at a point of critical mass, and burning the whole mother down and building it back from scratch might be the only option. Pass me the fiddle if that's the case, I ain't stopping nobody.

Anonymous said...

Dave, our government, thus our country is in trouble. All this party before anything else is going to be our downfall.

We desperately need term-limits!

Murph Turner said...

What we desperately need is support for 3rd parties. Not that many people truly fall along R & D lines.

And some of y'all have shit taste in music. . . (smile)

1) Sugar "The Act We Act"
2) Coolio "Fantastic Voyage"
3) Van Morrison "Into the Mystic"
4) Cast "Alright"
5) My Morning Jacket "Magheeta"
6) Oak Ridge Boys "Leavin Lousiana in the Broad Daylight"
7) Guided By Voices "A Salty Salute"
8) CCR "Lodi"
9) Lionel Richie "My Love"
10) Merle Haggard "Rainbow Stew"

Josh said...

It is hard coming up with better policy ideas than "change" and "yes we can."

Anonymous said...

"it is true the Democratic-controlled Congress currently has (and has had) a significantly lower approval rate than President Bush's."

This is one of those statements that is not a true fact. And 'true fact', contrary to assertions by Edwin Newman and his ilk, is not a redundancy. The ratings, as stated, are in fact lower, but the conclusion that pundits tend to draw from that is that Congressional policies are what people rate lower. I believe people are frustrated with Congress, as a group - including all the Republicans - inability to straighten out the mess that the Executive Branch has us mired in. Most people don't rate their own Congressperson below Bush. Most people think their personal representative is doing a great job, but he can't control all the other idiots. So, it isn't the policies of Congress that people rate lower, it is their ineffectiveness as a group. By contrast, Bush has managed a lot of personal effectiveness (he keeps getting crap passed), but his policies are so bad that people are disappointed in his Presidency. The "truth" as stated is misleading, and imo, not true in any fair sense of the word.

The point is that the argument that Congressional ratings are lower than Bush is proof that Bush must be doing something right is misleading and although poll ratings may be factual, conclusions derived from them aren't.

Solon said...

The conclusions being drawn from the Congressional approval ratings are comical. Please, stop listening to Limbaugh and do a little research.

The reason the ratings for Congress are so low is because of *Democratic* disapproval. It's quite clear to any thinking person that their inability to counter Bush's policies are the reason for their low approval ratings.

In fact, whenever more detailed questions are asked regarding Dems and Pubs in Congress, the attitude of the American people is clear:

NBC News/Wall Street Journal Poll Jan. 20-22, 2008. N=approx. 500 adults nationwide. MoE ± 4.4.

"Who do you want to see take the lead role in setting policy for the country: George W. Bush or the Congress?"
Bush Congress
1/08 21 62
1/07 22 57

CNN/Opinion Research Corporation Poll. Dec. 6-9, 2007. Adults nationwide.

"Do you think it is good for the country or bad for the country that the Democratic Party is in control of Congress?" N=494 adults, MoE ± 4.5
Good Bad
12/6-9/07 53 37
6/22-24/07 57 31
5/4-6/07 51 37
3/9-11/07 59 29

And, anon 12.27, I love the claim that the Dems are bereft of ideas. All the Pubs were running on was making Bush's tax cuts permanent, doubling the size of Guantanamo, and starting more wars--yes, these are such innovative ideas.

In fact, the one original Pub idea, McCain's immigration plan, is something that he's embarrassed to endorse at this point.

Please, lecture me again on how the Dems have no ideas to run on.

Also, can you let me know how the Dems, after 2 years where they haven't gotten anything accomplished, have created all of the problems we face? I guess the Pubs kicked so much ass in their 6 years in control of everything that the public felt comfortable taking a chance on the Dems; certainly no one objected to their governance, right?

Kanu said...

Solon, you obviously hate America and are with the terrorists.

Will said...

Also not mentioned by the "Liberal media" is the record # of holds and filibusters by the GOP in congress.

Y'all can have Nancy and Harry, I agree: they've barely done shit.