A memo from the desk of Arnold T. Pants, Esq.:Sincere apologies, dunks gone wrong, and License-Plate Shenanigans, Chapter II.

• First of all, my apologies for not having been a more conscientious blogger this week -- I blame a lingering cold-like condition combined with the stresses of breaking in a new puppy whose pissing/pooping schedules don't quite jibe with the previous status quo. Seriously, I've wiped up so much Number One and Number Two off my kitchen floor this past week that I'm up to about Number Seventeen at this point. (Thank God for hardwood, at least.) But don't think for one second that I regret the decision to bring another creature into my home. How can you be mad at faces like these?



Well, there are still ways, actually. But I'm still not giving him back.

• One of my favorite links this past week was on205th's compilation of the 22 Worst Dunks Ever. Maybe it's just 'cause I'm not an NBA fan, but I found the amateur home-video f%$#ups to be way funnier than the pros blowing their showboating opportunities in front of thousands of people. In the end, I found the simplicity of #3 to be the most appealing, though I did factor in some extra points for including multiple replays of both the slo-mo and fast-mo varieties:



It's at times like this that I actually breathe a little sigh of relief that I was a completely uncoordinated, unathletic child, because I was aware enough of my own complete ineptitude that I never would've even attempted something like that, much less filmed it. Score one for the dorks.

• Then again, there's also the dark side of dorkitude, as exemplified by the shrieky pre-teen MySpace obsessive in this video. I'm not embedding it because I haven't yet decided whether I think it's hilarious or gratuitously cruel, but I would like y'all to offer your opinion on it. Are the older siblings in this video being beyond-the-pale bullies, or is this no worse than the usual intra-family teasing, which makes the little brother an unhinged, whiny little bitch? I lean toward the latter, but again, I'd be interested in hearing your opinion.

• Per Senator Blutarsky, we finally have a resolution to the Georgia car-tag brouhaha I rolled my metaphorical eyes at last week: The Georgia state legislature has voted to cease production of special alumni license plates for out-of-state universities. On the one hand, I'd be pulling my hair out as a Georgia constituent over the fact that my state legislature apparently doesn't think it has anything better to do, but on the other hand, at least this is a resolution, and is therefore preferable to the previous situation -- i.e. the state government allowing alumni of other schools to get special tags and then whining like little bitches when people actually take advantage of it. So the law was passed, the highways and byways of Georgia were spared the scourge of special Gator license plates, and nothing bad ever happened again. The End.

• Barack Obama: leader, presidential frontrunner . . . Heisman Trophy winner?



OK, not really, but he did visit the UT football team whilst prepping for tonight's debate in Austin, Texas. Kind of a ballsy move, considering that this means he's writing off the Aggie vote just weeks before the all-important Texas primary, but whatever. (Hat tip: EDSBS.)