Monday, June 29

Monday Morning Cage Match III:
The cyborg hunter meets the moose hunter.

This week's Cage Match pits two very strong women against one another: the ripped matriarch of the "Terminator" series, Sarah Connor, versus the bespectacled matriarch of Alaska's first family, Sarah Palin. I would avoid, however, characterizing this as a catfight. A pejorative definition like that one no longer applies when there's this much ammunition involved.

Sarah Connor

Sarah Palin
First jobWaitressWasilla, Alaska, city councilwoman
Defining momentConceives John Connor whilst being chased by the Cyberdyne Systems model T-101Chosen as John McCain's running mate
WINNER: Connor
How'd that work out?Pretty well -- successfully destroyed both the T-101 and its successor, the shape-shifting T-1000Not so great
WINNER: Connor
Stance on gun owners' rightsVery pro-Very pro-
Child(ren)'s achievement(s)Leading the resistance against SkynetImpregnated by Levi Johnston
WINNER: Connor
Quote"Fucking men like you built the hydrogen bomb. Men like you thought it up. You think you're so creative. . . . All you know how to create is death and destruction.""As Putin rears his ugly head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska."
WINNER: Connor

FINAL SCORE: Sarah Connor 5, Sarah Palin 3. Maybe John McCain should've picked Connor as his running mate.


Alex said...

Palin's first job was a sportscaster:

Deanna said...

Palin's the governor of Alaska. Am I just missing the joke? (No implied joke in that question, either. :) )

Deanna said...

Oh, FIRST job. Now I see. Never mind!

Buck said...

I know it is just me and it is just my problem but every time I see Sarah Palin I see Peggy Hill.

I just cannot see the red hot mama everybody else seems to see.

SpartanDan said...

Holy shit ... Buck's right. She *does* look like Peggy Hill.