Wednesday, July 12

Spotted this morning at the corner of Hilarious Blvd. and Tragic Ave.

An anti-abortion blogger has been receiving some publicity beyond his wildest dreams for a post he wrote in response to what he perceived as a callously pro-abortion op-ed piece. Here's some of what he wrote at the end of his post:

Miss Weber, you have killed your child, which you admit is a baby/human being, intentionally. That does make you an admitted murderer. I'm not going to "condemn you to hell", I'm going to pray for your forgiveness and for the suffering which you will endure when you realize what you have done. Every baby you see from that moment on is going to wake you up to the realization that you killed your child.

Wow. Powerful words on a powerful issue. Only problem is, he was writing in response to . . . this.

An excerpt:

So, to all of you pro-lifers who are trying to rain on my parade, keep it to yourself, because I don't have the time for that kind of negativity. I've got an abortion to plan, and I just know it's going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever!

. . .

I seriously cannot wait for all the hemorrhaging and the uterine contractions. This abortion is going to be so amazing. I'm definitely taking lots of pictures so I can remember every last detail of the whole experience for years to come and share my great memories with all of my friends, family and co-workers. What an easy decision this was!

Yes, your worst suspicions are correct -- "Marching Together for Life" was responding to "I'm Totally Psyched About This Abortion!," a "column" from the April 28, 1999 edition of The Onion.

Which begs three questions.

1. Which remote Pacific island would you have had to be stranded on to not know what The Onion was?

2. Even if you had somehow managed to escape awareness of The Onion's existence, wouldn't you have said to yourself at some point during the reading of that piece, "You know, this is starting to sound a lot like satire"?

3. Following that, wouldn't you have also thought to yourself, "You know, maybe, just maybe, this column is satirizing the right-wing attitudes of abortion recipients as callous, airheaded women who enjoy terminating their pregnancies -- attitudes very similar to the one I myself have held for years?"

Now, any normal person would've woken up the next morning, witnessed the monsoon of comments people had left informing him of his dumbassery, and slinked back into obscurity with his tail between his legs. Not this cat, though. He came back four days later with . . .

Talk about getting people mad. I wrote a blog on Caroline Weber who wrote her "satire" piece titled "I am totally psyched for this abortion!".

This article is not for kids or the weak spirited.

First of all, who are we talking about? We are talking about a woman who supports the murder of over 3,000 babies/human beings every single day. We are talking about a woman who supports the suctioning out of brains from human beings to collapse their skulls in order to remove their dead carcases from the women who have chosen to kill their children. A woman who likely supports the killing of a fully developed 9 month old baby so that the poor mother doesn't have to buy diapers, or live with the trauma of having to raise a child.

From this we can gather that he still thinks "Caroline Weber" is real. And he just ain't gonna let this thing go.

Satire? Was the article aiming at the women who have the abortions or the people who believe it is better to save lives than kill them?

Hmm, let's look up the term satire:

"witty language used to convey insults or scorn; "he used sarcasm to upset his opponent""

Either way, I think I did a good job of turning the "satire" right back at them, don't you?

Well, given that you've conflated "satire" and "sarcasm," I'd have to say . . . no.

Pete of MTfL proceeded to dig his hole yet further (prompting one commenter to call him "the Energizer Bunny of dumb") with two more posts over the next couple of days, the latest of which demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt that Pete understands neither the purpose of satire nor the first thing about how oral contraceptives work.

Now, I thought about this for a second, and I did consider the possibility that Pete is not a complete idiot but rather a master satirist himself -- either a left-winger stealthily trying to give pro-lifers a bad name, or perhaps even more diabolically, an actual pro-lifer merely trying to draw hundreds of pro-choice Internet surfers into his fiendish fake blog so that he could later spring the trap and yell, "GOTCHA! Oh, you dumbasses thought this was real!"

However, he's been doing this for more than a year now, which seems like an awful lot of effort (and consistent effort at that) just to play a prank on some pro-life bloggers. And he's got numerous photos of anti-abortion rallies he's attended. So . . . I'm going to go with "actual blog," "non-ironic" and "dumbass." But a hilarious dumbass. (Maybe we can hook him up with this chick.)

Anyway, I look forward to his impassioned condemnation of the anger and vitriol being spewed by this pie.

ADDED: Forgot to give due credit to Pandagon, where I saw this in the first place. Oh, and Pete hasn't quit -- he's now insisting that his original post "was a joke, which obviously thousands of you didn't get." Uh-huh. I'll file that under the "He who laughs last didn't get the joke" department.


Anonymous said...

You found the D-Bag of the year!

Oh man, can't stop laughing.

Great find, Doug.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Wingnuts show a marked tendency to misunderstand more sophisticated styles of humor - they never get much above the Three Stooges poke in the eyeball- so maybe it's not so surprising that he'd say "hey, satire, sarcasm, what's the diff?"

Since the article simply reinforces what he already believed, he is unable to process the fact that it may be - hold on here- made up

Just like the Doughy Pantload can't seem to understand that Star Trek isn't real.

Anonymous said... you realize the Onion article was from 1999? So not only can this guy not get a joke, but he is 7 years late on his rant!

shelly said...

Holy freakin' crap. What an idiot.