I'm sitting here in Columbus at my folks' house, and as hard as it is to believe, my 10-year high-school reunion is this weekend. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it, because I haven't gotten fat (that much), haven't gotten addicted to anything (yet), haven't knocked anyone up (that I know of), and my job and/or outside political activities, while not especially earth-shattering or important, are just close enough to important that I can make them sound very important and exciting without having to tell any outright lies. Oh, I'll be stretching the truth thinner than Kirstie Alley's support hose, but lying, nah, I probably won't have to do that.
Saw my friend John last night at Art Attack downtown -- where the band Spy For Hire, which my friends Andy and Ryan play in, was performing, and I'm gonna plug them right here because if they don't get signed and at the very least become more famous than freaking Limp Bizkit, there's no justice in this world -- and anyway, he was advising me on reunion small-talk strategy. "Don't ask 'What are you doing these days,' because that's just typical small talk and nobody really cares what the answer is anyway," he said. "You gotta ask something different, something that'll get right to the heart of the human condition. You should walk up to people you haven't seen in ten years and be like, 'How do you feel?' "
Interesting. So, readers, whether you're 10 years out of high school or not, how do you feel?
While you're pondering that, here's this week's Top 10, selected (of course) from the subset of Stuff I Listened To In High School:
1. Pet Shop Boys, "Forever in Love"
2. Dead Milkmen, "Takin' Retards to the Zoo"
3. Pet Shop Boys, "Rent"
4. Depeche Mode, "Personal Jesus"
5. Tears for Fears, "Change"
6. The Revels, "Comanche"
7. Crowded House, "Locked Out"
8. R.E.M., "Find the River"
9. Pet Shop Boys, "I Get Excited (You Get Excited Too)"
10. Screeching Weasel, "I Wanna Be a Homosexual"
Yup, I was just as bizarre and insolent back then, too.
If anything interesting happens at the reunion, such as being assaulted by a paid assassin and having to dispatch him with my bare hands in the hallway, rest assured you'll read about it here. Even if nothing interesting happens, you may read about that, too.
I feel fine. Thanks for asking. :) How do you feel Doug?
It's the end of the world as we know it.
I feel fine.
I was just about to reprimand you for missing the perfect opportunity to reference your blog's title, but in the last paragraph you redeemed yourself.
"Ten years man! Ten... years! Ten! Ten yyyyyyears!" - Jeremy Piven
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