Monday Morning Cage Match XVII:Two establishments that celebrate sports in, um, different ways.

As many of you probably already know, I'm kind of a fan of the Hooters restaurant chain. I like the, uh, atmosphere. But the place has its detractors -- people complain that it's tacky, the food's mediocre, et cetera. And then there's the most frequently heard complaint of all, which is that the place objectifies women.

I have to concede that point a little -- the, you know, stretchiness of the standard employee attire might verge a little on the gratuitous. Then there's the name of the restaurant itself, which, come on, we all get it. But it's not like that kind of innuendo is restricted to Hooters, nor to the female gender. In fact, there's a major sporting-goods company that pulled in revenues of nearly four billion dollars last year and whose very name makes reference to a sensitive part of the male anatomy. And does anyone ever get all worked up over that? It's time to determine once and for all which is truly the more respectable establishment, and that's the kind of thing the Monday Morning Cage Match was made for. Thus we present: Hooters vs. Dick's.

	Hooters	Dick's Sporting Goods
Founded	1983	1948
WINNER: Dick's
Locations	Nearly 450 in 46 states and 24 foreign countries	More than 300 in 40 states across the U.S.
WINNER: Hooters
Employee uniform
WINNER: Hooters
Current promotions	Regularly occurring poker nights, trivia nights, and bikini contests	Free shipping on NFL jerseys and any orders of $125 or more
WINNER: Hooters
Recent acquisitions/ expansion	Miami Hooters arena football team (marketing agreement ceased 1995), Hooters Air (ceased operations 2006), Hooters Casino Hotel	Galyan's Trading Company, Galaxy Golf, Chick's Sporting Goods
WINNER: Dick's
Chance you'll run into John Daly	Substantial	Possible in the golf department
WINNER: Hooters
How are the wings?	OK	N/A
WINNER: Hooters

FINAL SCORE: Hooters 5, Dick's 2. OK, maybe this one was a little unfair.