Tuesday, June 23

This is how it's done, Akron.

Since I've duly excoriated the city of Akron, Ohio, for their crimes against the integrity of the exotic-dancing industry, I thought it might be time to balance that out with some good news from a town that knows how to do strip clubs right: my former home of Atlanta.

First of all, some dancers at the Cheetah have challenged one of Georgia's many idiotic "blue laws," this one saying that under-21 strippers can't perform at clubs that sell alcohol -- and they're taking it all the way to the Georgia Supreme Court. As someone who had to watch the decline of one of his favorite strip joints (Topper's, oh-so-conveniently located across from what was then the Red & Black offices on Jackson Street in Athens) after Athens passed a ridiculous law saying strip clubs couldn't sell alcohol if they went full nude, I applaud the Cheetah girls' courage. If the good people of Atlanta can't convince their dumbass legislature to let them buy booze on Sundays, they should damn well be able to see a 20-year-old pair of boobs while they enjoy a beer the other six days of the week, by God.

Secondly, the building on Ponce de Leon that houses the infamous Clermont Lounge looks like it's fixin' to get foreclosed on, but fear not, Atlanta hipsters, curiosity-seekers and assorted pervs -- "the place where strippers go to die" ain't goin' nowhere:

The dank, smoky strip club is known for dancers old enough to be many patrons’ mothers, or even grandmothers. The most famous dancer, Blondie, is known for reciting poetry as she plies her trade.

In recent years, the Clermont has been adopted by urban hipsters who pack the venue for DJ dance parties. Recently, the actors Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray were seen taking in the sights at the Clermont.

Even if the hotel falls into foreclosure, the Clermont Lounge should stay open, said attorney John Ayoub, who along with Mansour represents Fairway Capital.

“There’s no reason to stop them,” he said. “They have a business. They make money. They pay rent.”

Yes, regardless of what happens to the building's ownership, you'll still be able to watch Blondie crush beer cans between her cartoonishly prodigious ta-tas. It's nice to see some people respecting Atlanta's heritage.

And yes, I know I'm defending a place that boasts at least a couple strippers who have to be in their 70s, even though I tsk-tsked Akron for having a strip club that hired a 52-year-old. But you know what? This is different. There's nuance here. There's a difference between "It's a Saturday night, I want to do something nutty, let's go down to the Clermont and pound some PBRs while we watch strippers who are collecting Social Security" and "Man, let's go to a strip club, I want to see some boobs, and OH MY GOD WHO IS THAT, HOW IS HER TITTY IN MY LAP, SHE'S STANDING UP FOR CHRIST'S SAKE." And the Clermont, Lord love it, embraces the crazy and falls on the proper side of that line.

I sure hope my mom's reading this. She'd be so proud.

1 comment:

ACG said...

Two notes:

1. Do be careful to distinguish between the Cheetah girls, who undress for creepy old men for money, and the Cheetah Girls, who dress like hookers for impressionable young girls for money.

2. I am familiar with Blondie, and reciting poetry ain't what she's known for.