Wednesday, April 29

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN AKRON?!?!

Remember this story I linked to about the 52-year-old stripper in Akron who got jumped by one of her co-workers? Looking for a story from the complete opposite end of the spectrum? Have I got a deal for you!

AKRON -- Police say a 14-year-old girl was dancing topless at an Akron strip club when they raided the bar and arrested four exotic dancers.

The girl has been placed in protective custody. . . .

Police Lt. Rick Edwards says officers saw some dancers have contact with customers, but not the 14-year-old. He says the club is not licensed as a sexually oriented business.

The girl has been placed with Summit County Children Services.


Ahem.

ATTENTION, STRIP-CLUB OWNERS OF AKRON, OHIO: THE APPROPRIATE AGE FOR A STRIPPER IS EIGHTEEN (18) TO THIRTY-FIVE (35). THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO FEATURE ANY EXOTIC DANCERS WHO FALL OUTSIDE THAT AGE RANGE. IT CAN ONLY LEAD TO LEGAL PROBLEMS, PHYSICAL HARM, AND/OR PUBLIC HUMILIATION. REPEAT: EXOTIC DANCERS SHOULD BE AGED 18 TO 35. NO EXCEPTIONS. THANK YOU.

OK, I'm done now.

(Hat tip: With Leather.)

6 comments:

Rambler said...

So are you planning a trip to Akron to see the effectiveness of the above referenced Public Service Announcement?

Jen said...

My first thought: maybe the 52-year-old was the 14-year-old's mama.

Camel said...

Jen....you ever met that kind of stripper? The 52 would be the GREAT-GRAND MAMA of the 14 year old.

Jen said...

@Camel: Thank you for the laugh! I stand corrected. HAHAHA. In any case: the teenager's just following in the family business! Doing what her mama & her mama's mama & so on did before her, right?

masivatack said...

Sounds like you just had a bad Clermont Lounge flashback.

It happens.

Universal Remonster said...

"In other news, Tucker Max has taken a quick break from the post-production of the film "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell", an adaptation of his book of the same name, to take a visit to Akron, OH to "visit a couple of friends" and "see a few sights." His return date is unknown."