Thursday, May 21

A memo from the desk of Arnold T. Pants, Esq.:
Getting back in the saddle.

· First of all, I want to thank everyone who e-mailed or commented or text-messaged their kind wishes in the wake of my granddad's death last week. The family's been taking it really well, and I think we've all been extremely lucky to have big groups of people to rally around us when we've needed it.

Incidentally, while the process of "settling affairs" is still ongoing, I was granted what I guess you could call my piece of the "inheritance" while I was up in West Virginia with the family: an unfinished bottle of Glenlivet that had belonged to Granddad. We don't have many Scotch drinkers in our family, but he was a big fan. That bottle is one that will never be finished -- I'm always going to keep a little bit sitting there in the bottom, for Granddad -- but I'm proud to have it on my shelf.

· OK, enough with the seriousness; time to get back into this "blogging" thing, which I have been extremely slack about the last few weeks. I won't say anything dumb like "It's what Granddad would've wanted," because I frankly have no idea whether he gave a crap about this blog or anything on the Internet period, but -- if I let this unfortunate event stop me from blogging, then the terrorists have won, or something. Let's bring out the Legos.

· Those were so good, let's have some more. Cakes! My favorite:

· The other day I noticed an interesting confluence in my Twitter feed -- two Twitterers I follow, one ultra-liberal and one ultra-conservative, linked to the same snippet of video from Glenn Beck's appearance on "The View." And they both agreed that Beck pretty well got his ass handed to him. See for thyself:

First allow me to stipulate two things: 1) I don't like Glenn Beck. 2) I don't watch "The View" and, thus, do not find it to be an especially stimulating venue for political debate. But with all that said, allow me to ask: What kind of fucking idiot is Glenn Beck? You know you're going on "The View," so you decide to mock (and, demonstrably, lie about) its two most recognizable stars on your radio show? To call that "bush league" would be an insult to both bushes and leagues, and to call Beck a "buffoon" would be an insult to the many people throughout history who have managed to make perfectly productive careers out of buffoonery.

Right-wingers, you can take me at my word or not, it's up to you, but your already tarnished political brand is doing itself no favors by its continued association with a whining bumblefuck like Glenn Beck. Rush Limbaugh is an asshole, and avowedly so, but at least he's occasionally an asshole in the service of some greater point or idea; Glenn Beck is just a dork who fell bass-ackwards into a TV gig and who serves no current purpose other than to give sarcasm a bad name. Cut him loose and move on.

· Heard the other day that Olivia Wilde had been given the top spot on Maxim's "Hot 100" list for this year. Is it bad that I had to look up who she was?

· Conspicuously not on the list: CNN money/financial reporter Poppy Harlow. Happened to glance at her on the news the other day above the chyron "Tips for Servicing Your Hybrid" and said, out loud, "I'd service her hybrid." You know when's not a good time to say something like that out loud? When you're on the phone with your girlfriend.

Be that as it may, she's a live one, all right. But don't think for one second that I'm making her the new Hey Jenny Slater Official Future Wife or anything like that; I'm not getting my heart broken like last time.


Universal Remonster said...

Wow, I didn't think I could dislike Beck anymore than I already did, but once again you've proven me wrong.

Holly said...

Let the record show that I explicitly encouraged you to continue your verbal seductions of newsladies in exchange for your grudging but continual patience with my Jeremy Shockey fixation.

Buck said...

Glenn Beck ain't nothin'.

Think about the damage Dick Cheney is doing to them as we speak!

Cheney is a guy that should get his ass back to an undisclosed location as soon possible.

What a loon.

DC Trojan said...

I don't usually like to jump in the mode of assuming that people who don't agree with me, or who are just old fashioned assholes, are somehow affected by some clinical issue. Rush Limbaugh, for instances, is a good old fashioned jackass whether in the throes of addition or not, especially because he's a bright enough guy.

But Glenn Beck... I'm willing to make a humanitarian exemption because I think that poor man has some serious mental health issues. The clip in the post is blocked (clients trying to control their network usage, I ask you) but what I've seen of Mr Beck in the past makes me think that he's more than slightly unhinged.

Ollllddude said...

I am not sure Beck is an idiot - I think he is just playing a role that panders to a certain element. Notice that when he was on The View, he somewhat capitulated and acted like he might, have been wrong. Today, on his radio show he went 180 degrees in the opposite direction and since there was no one from The View on his radio show to call him on it, he went unrebutted. So, he's a douche and a coward. It has to be some sort of schtick, though. He can't possibly believe some of the stuff coming out of his mouth.