Saturday, May 17

Happy weekend: Separated At Birth goes video.

I think I've been pretty clear that I find Headline News talk-show host Glenn Beck pretty worthless; his right-wing-masquerading-as-"independent" viewpoint is so transparent only a complete retard couldn't see through it, and his "angry white man" shtick more often comes off as whiny, entitled, and ineffectual. Yet there's one big, overarching reason why Beck grates on my nerves even more so than most right-wing talk show hosts. It isn't his politics, because I can even give Beck a little credit for not being totally mindless in his opinions, unlike, say, Sean Hannity; nor is it the fact that he gets to hold forth for an hour every weeknight on HN without any kind of liberal counterbalance, because it's not like they're the only network doing that.

No, the most grating thing about Beck is that he has only one speaking inflection: sarcasm. Not just sarcasm but the forced, repetitive sarcasm of a guy who's convinced he's hilaaaarious. Here's Glenn ranting on global warming (shockingly, he thinks it's bogus):



See? That whole time he's playing exactly one note, and it's "this is stupid so I'm going to be as condescending as possible. 'Dja get that? CONDESCENDING." I was trying to figure where I'd seen/heard something like that before, and then a couple weeks ago, in a conversation about favorite "Kids in the Hall" sketches, it finally hit me.

Any of you KITH fans remember this?



Yup -- Glenn Beck is Dave Foley, The Partygoer With A Sarcastic Speech Impediment. It's all right there, people.

21 comments:

Josh said...

So because the words make too much sense you have to attack the delivery?

Doug said...

Notice I didn't even make a comment about global warming one way or the other, so you can come down off the ledge now. My point is only that Glenn Beck is a smarmy douche; we can hash out the global-warming thing some other time.

Anonymous said...

Have you noticed how Obama can talk forever without committing to anything other than redeploying the troops as soon as he is elected or was it depending on whtat the situation on the ground is at the time he is elected. Hell, he can't even stick to that "commitment." What a slimey, smarmy douche!

Anonymous said...

Just wait Sexchequer, once your savior Obama is elected, you are going to learn exactly how he feels about you and those like you. Politics is about power, and once the proud, milk-toast, smiling, never-been-proud-of-my-country-til-now and his merry band of cohorts are in office, you will be ripped and rendered to pieces by the reverse hatred and vitriol that will rise from the White House. How can you miss it? The signs are there. Libo's keep marching toward the edge like Lemmings out of season. You may think Beck is a wacked out conservonoid (and hell, who knows, I kinda agree with that), but at least he shoots straight and tells you exactly how he feels. His side is your side, trust me. Time will tell, and that right soon.

Josh said...

Well, "shockingly, he thinks it's bogus" is a comment of sorts, but no worries - "man-made global warming" is just my favorite button to push (including putting it in quotes).

Anonymous said...

Obama wants to increase the capital gains tax because of "fairness." Is this hack for real? Are the dems so desperate to embrace their great black hope at the expense of all the retirees with 401Ks and teachers' pension plans? I can't wait to hear his plan to save SS. What an ignoramous. If he can't get the simple shit right, what's he going to do with the hard stuff?

DC said...

snarf. calling a smarmy douche a douche really brings out the conservonoids, eh?

mjhellund said...

Glenn Beck is just purely and simply an ignoramus. He might be stupider than his confreres, but there's the inexcusable haircut and the inexcusable beligerance that set him apart. If the OED ever goes with photos, he''s right next to doofus. Americans buy this obscene claptrap?

Randy Newman has this type pegged: Mr. Sheep. What does that say about a country in which he's the massage and not the mediun?

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, feel the liberal love bringing the country together.

I heard they tested Teddy yesterday to see what effect the seizures had. His IQ went up 10 points! However, he's still eligible for SSI.

Ryno said...

Man. Doug you've got your share of Glenn Beck fans that read your blog.

Too much haterade for me in this comment thread. I'm out.


**Reading HJS in the fall will be a rollercoaster. It will combine the ups and downs of an election year with the ups and down of a top 5 football team (and the related fandom). Can't wait**

Anonymous said...

mjhellund, we get it.... rip the man on his looks, his intelligence, his views... call him names, stupid, ignorant... riiiiight.

You can't play in a man's game, so you resort to cutting down the man with your oh-so-holier-than-thou wit. Get a job and pull your weight. Then maybe, just maybe, you won't have so much time to be hating on other people.

Stay Green, bro.

worsethanbonkers said...

I can't friggin' stand Glenn Beck, Even though we have similar political views I can still call a douche a douche. Don't worry Doug, even though you may be a liberal bed-wetter I still think you're funny as hell and a class act Dawg!

Anonymous said...

Great moments in Democratic leadership:

“With record gas prices, record CEO pay packages, and record oil company profits, Speaker Hastert and the Majority Congress continue to give the American people empty rhetoric rather than join Democrats who are working to lower gas prices now.

“Democrats have a commonsense plan to help bring down skyrocketing gas prices by cracking down on price gouging, rolling back the billions of dollars in taxpayer subsidies, tax breaks and royalty relief given to big oil and gas companies, and increasing production of alternative fuels.”

Pelosi, 2006.

If empty rhetoric worked for Pelosi and the Dems in '06, why not Obama in '08?

Anonymous said...

Doug? Class act?

Jeezus, "class" has hit a new low.

Kinda like calling Jon Stewart a "journalist?"

Anonymous said...

Class act?

Class clown sounds better and is certainly more accurate.

Doug, you are funny, let's just stop right there and leave a tender moment alone................

Anonymous said...

Here's a question. If global warming is man-made here on earth, why is Mars getting warmer also? Maybe something to do with the sun and it's warming and cooling cycles? Do some research and stop believing everything the liberal talking heads are telling you.

ChicagoDawg said...

If you hate bloviators who speak only in tones of sarcasm, then you must absolutely loath Keith Olbermann.

Jason said...

anon @ 2:01 PM:

Your answer: It's called albedo. Mars has very violent dust storms that mimic the function of a greenhouse layer in their atmosphere. The warming present over the past three years is primarily due to very violent and active dust storms that have racked the planet. It has, in actuality, very little to do with the sun.

http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/070404_gw_mars.html

This actually follows quite nicely the *consensus* opinion on MMCC, which is that clogging the greenhouse layer with pollutants will contribute to warming of the planet....because that's exactly what's happening on Mars. It just so happens on Mars that it's violent dust storms that are causing the pollutants to increase. We, of course, do not have violent dust storms of nearly the caliber of Mars on Earth.

Thanks for playing.

Anonymous said...

jason - you're as full of shat as a Christmas turkey! Just 'cause you say something with conviction don't make is so, s'on.

Ryno said...

I don't want anyone to shat on my turkey.

Anonymous said...

Want to listen to some real ignorant dumbassess? Go to MSNBC and listen to that bunch, i.e. Keith Overbite.