First Jenna Bush, now this.
Yup, that's Melissa Theuriau in that picture, and she done got herself hitched. And she didn't even tell me beforehand. (Thanks to Mack Williams and LD, by the way, for breaking the news to a brother gently.) Anyway, the point is, FAIL. There's going to be a period of mourning here at Hey Jenny Slater, I'm not gonna lie to you.
But in the meantime, nominations for a replacement are officially open. Nobody who's married or otherwise romantically attached; also no drug addicts, country musicians, porn stars, Scientologists, or Republicans. Everything else is on the table.
OK, some drug use is acceptable.