Wednesday, May 27

Let he who has not employed an underage exotic dancer cast the first . . .

Yeah, uh, remember all the times I made fun of Akron for not knowing how to run a strip club?

Well, it looks like my home state has its own problems:

A man and woman were charged with contributing to the deliquency of a minor Friday night after Gwinnett County police busted an alleged illegal strip club operating out of a Lilburn bar with dancers as young as 15 years old.

The owner of Lucky Billiards on Indian Trail-Lilburn Road, Jay Young Kim, was arrested, along with a dancer, Whitney Faith Blackburn.

Good job, Gwinnett County, good fucking job indeed: You've brought yourself down to Akron's level.

My sister's been telling me about this show where celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay swoops in at a failing restaurant and helps them figure out what they're doing wrong and how to improve. Maybe the Beeb needs to start up a similar program for strip clubs. Pamela Anderson or Joe Redner could go in, take stock of the establishment, and offer critiques like "Your girls' costumes are rather cumbersome for dancing" or "The chairs around your stage aren't positioned for optimum tipping" or "Hey, genius, there's a FUCKING FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD giving lap dances by the cigarette machine."

Or, hell, I could host it. I like to think I know a thing or two about this stuff.


Tommy said...

You know, when you name a girl "Whitney Faith," about the only thing that's gonna keep her from stripping by age 15 is neck-down paralysis. This also applies for "Crystal" and "Chastity."

Brett Lacy said...

Theres a reason the water tower on 85 reads: Success Lives Here.

Here in Gwinnett, we go big or we go home. Let's not forget that just a few weeks ago, law enforcement agents made the largest meth bust in history, taking down nearly $8 million in drugs.

We're giving Clayton a run for their money. Cobb....try to keep up.