The second in our series of grittier, rewritten Olive Garden ads rolls on with a haunting new installment, "Parting." (Previously: "Disclosure.")
WAITRESS: Hi! Can I help you?
MOTHER: Oh, hi, yes, I'm looking for my date.
WAITRESS: Ohhh!
MOTHER: He's very handsome, and his shoes are probably untied.
YOUNG BOY (calling out): Mom!
WAITRESS: (laughs) That's so sweet!
MOTHER: Well, tonight's the night his father and I are telling him we're getting a divorce, so we figured we might as well take him someplace nice, soften the blow a bit . . .
WAITRESS: Oh. (pause) Wow. I'm . . . I'm gonna go get you guys some more breadsticks.
ANNOUNCER: Introducing Olive Garden's new stuffed rigatonis! Filled with five Italian cheeses like mozzarella and parmesan. Try our rigatoni with grilled chicken in a roasted-garlic alfredo, or rigatoni with sausage and tomato alfredo. Starting at $9.95, plus endless breadsticks and salad!
FATHER (to WAITRESS, as YOUNG BOY weeps openly): Could we, ahh, maybe get a few scoops of chocolate gelato over here? And a scotch, double?
ANNOUNCER: Olive Garden -- when you're here, you're family!
4 comments:
It's good, but you left out the part where the father tells the child about his new spouse Bruce and mom tells the child that she won't see her for 3 to 5 years because of her meth conviction.
I hate those damn commercials. You've made my morning.
You're doing the Lord's work here, lawya.
Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Post a Comment