Thursday, October 2

The debate rules.



· Every time Sarah Palin refers to herself as a "reformer," take a drink.

· Every time Joe Biden gets warned by Gwen Ifill that he's gone over his allotted response time, take a drink.

· Every time Palin mentions her special-needs child, take a drink.

· If she makes reference to "cracks in the glass ceiling" in any amount, take a drink.

· If she mentions Hillary Clinton while doing so, take two drinks.

· If Biden responds by saying, "Governor, I work with Hillary Clinton. I know Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton is a friend of mine. Governor, you're no Hillary Clinton," do a tequila shot in celebration.

· Every time Palin looks up, smiles, and says "You knowwww . . . " in a way that says there's an irrelevant personal story or really-stretching-it joke coming up, drink.

· If she tells that fucking story about putting the airplane on eBay, chug your drink.

· For every time she claims to have said "Thanks but no thanks" to the Bridge to Nowhere, chug someone else's drink, and if they ask what happened to their drink, say you have no idea, you don't drink.

· For every time she claims to have foreign-policy experience, take a drink.

· If she invokes Alaska's proximity to Russia in doing so, take another drink (a vodka shot, of course).

· For every time either candidate says "I agree with [opponent]," take a drink.

· If Biden slips up and calls Gov. Palin "little lady," do a shot, then shoot yourself in the head.

· For every time a pundit says Palin "held her own" in the post-debate analysis, take a drink.

· If one of those pundits says Palin "proved she's qualified to be vice-president," start drinking and don't stop until November 5.

20 comments:

Squarebush said...

"If one of those pundits says Palin "proved she's qualified to be vice-president," start drinking and don't stop until November 5."


Excellent!

Seventh Year Senior said...

-Every time Biden says something that completely contradicts his running mate, drink.

-Every time Gwen Ifill winks at Biden in hopes of getting her book to sell in January, drink.

Reed said...

Uhhhh. The only channel we get down here in Argentina is Fox News. I'll be dead by morning.

Anonymous said...

"If one of those pundits says Palin "proved she's qualified to be vice-president," start drinking and don't stop until November 5."

One may need to keep drinking past Nov 5 if someone says that, and they are believed to the extent that McC/P get elected - or do we all just immigrate to Canada?

Anonymous said...

I knew you would have a way of making this debate tolerable. Thanks, Doug.

Holly said...

We're lining up a half-mile of shotglasses and doing one every time she wrinkles her nose. No one gets out alive.

Sammy the Taint said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Damn Doug... you were up early this morning. Good shit nonetheless.

This Is So Tired said...

Every time a nitwit tries to make Palin look bad, laugh it off and blame Republicans.

Anonymous said...

Here's a link to another game that can be played by people who don't drink, and might be just as much fun:

http://palinbingo.com/

Enjoy it with your kids.

Anonymous said...

Fuck the both of these clowns.

Will said...

I think the Russia one should be "rear your head and drink a shot of vodka".

mccain/milf said...

Well, I'll be hammered tonight.

Doug said...

"Nitwit"? That's all you got? Man, when I did this same kind of shit four years ago, some of y'all actually told me I was going to hell. Step up your game.

Snead said...

great stuff. thanks for ruining my friday morning.

Anonymous said...

Any time a liberal makes a reference to Palin's experience as a VP candidate while totally ignoring their presidential candidate's resume .. take a drink.

Anonymous said...

Palin is the single worst choice for such a high office in the last 50 years if not the last century. Dan Quayle hasn't slept this peacefully in years. She is a disgrace. The fact that McCain chose her demonstrates his inadequacy...or at least that's what my great grandpa told me that he heard Biden say in a Podcast back in 1929 just after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

Baxter Sanford said...

Governor Palin. You're no Dan Quayle.

Anonymous said...

"If one of those pundits says Palin "proved she's qualified to be vice-president," start drinking and don't stop until November 5."

Give me a break you Dillweed. Obama is qualified? He's done absolutely nothing, zilch.

He's the most pitiful excuse for a presidential candidate ever. Hell he's a pitiful excuse for a Senator.

If this clown is elected by you clowns there won't be enough drinks to go around.

Will said...

Well, they're allegedly electing a right-wing nut job in Canada, so if all you hardcore GOP folks really can't stand the thought of President Obama, get your VISAs in order (ps, that'll put even more distance between you and those scary people crossing the Rio Grande that Lou Dobbs and Rush told you to hate.)