 Fiona Apple |  William of Orange | |
| Occupation | Pop singer | Sovereign prince of England |
| WINNER: William of Orange | ||
| Known for | Idiosyncratic lyrics and unusual musical arrangements | Championing the Protestant faith in the face of Catholic French ruler Louis XIV in the 17th century |
| WINNER: Fiona Apple | ||
| First big break | Triple-platinum 1996 debut album Tidal | 1670 admission to the Dutch council overseeing the nation's defense budget |
| WINNER: Fiona Apple | ||
| Controversial quote | "This world is bullshit, and you shouldn't model your life on what you think that we think is cool, and what we're wearing and what we're saying." | "Every bullet has its billet." |
| WINNER: Fiona Apple (William's sounds cooler, but I couldn't figure out what the fuck he was talking about) | ||
| Questionable decision | Giving her second album a 90-word title | Restricting the religious freedom of Roman Catholics and non-Christians |
| WINNER: Fiona Apple | ||
| Questionable love interest(s) | "Magnolia" director Paul Thomas Anderson | Two male Dutch courtiers |
| WINNER: William of Orange (sorry, but "Magnolia" and "There Will Be Blood" really, really sucked) | ||
| Current fans | Moody teenagers vacillating between indie-rock hipsterism and goth | Northern Irish Protestants who like holding parades through Catholic areas |
| WINNER: Tie | ||
FINAL SCORE: Apple 5, Orange 3. The great question is finally settled. You're welcome.
4 comments:
Glad to see Fiona on top... she is an extraordinary machine, after all.
"(sorry, but 'Magnolia' and 'There Will Be Blood' really, really sucked)..."
Winner: NOT DOUG.
Magnolia was a great movie. Julianna Moore's pharmacy scene alone would have been enough to hoist License To Drive on its back and climb up to awesome.
"Every bullet has its billet."
I think he's saying every bullet has its final resting place/someone it is destined to fuck up.
Via Wikipedia: A billet is a term for living quarters to which a soldier is assigned to sleep. Historically, it referred to a private dwelling that was required to accept the soldier.
Winner: Orange
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