Monday Morning Cage Match IX:A book I have not read vs. a book I also have not read.

A few weeks back my dear sister finished reading the first of the books in the Twilight series, and it would be safe to say her judgment of the novel's literary merit was less than charitable; in a two-part post on her blog, she ripped apart both what she called its shitty writing and awful social message for young girls. Now, baby sis would probably readily admit that she did not pick up the book in the first place thinking she'd like it at all, so she may have been a little bit prejudiced. So I figured, what if the Monday Morning Cage Match took a crack at the book with the unprejudiced, unbiased judgment you've come to know and expect? The thing is, I haven't read the book and, not being a 14-year-old girl, don't plan to, but there are plenty of books I haven't read and that's never stopped me from talking about them. So to come up with the definitive judgment of Twilight's place in the literary firmament, it's time for a quick comparison of what seem like two similar books, at least based on their titles: Twilight vs. Night.

	Night	Twilight
Author	Journalist and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel	Mormon housewife Stephanie Meyer
WINNER: Night
Protagonist	Eliezer, Orthodox-Jewish concentration-camp inmate	Bella Swan, clumsy, bookish, yet somehow irresistible high-schooler
WINNER: Night
Villain(s)	The Nazis; man's inhumanity to man	An evil vampire coven; the inconvenience of dating someone who wants to drink your blood
WINNER: Night
Autobiographical?	Yes	You'd kind of have to think so
WINNER: Tie
Excerpt	"How could I say to Him: Blessed be Thou, Almighty, Master of the Universe, who chose us among all nations to be tortured day and night, to watch as our fathers, our mothers, our brothers end up in the furnaces? ... But now, I no longer pleaded for anything. I was no longer able to lament. On the contrary, I felt very strong. I was the accuser, God the accused. My eyes had opened and I was alone, terribly alone in a world without God, without man."	"As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water. It was unlike anything else. Instinctively, unthinkingly, I leaned closer, inhaling."
WINNER: Night
Sample praise	"Every sentence feels weighted and deliberate, every episode carefully chosen and delineated. It is also shockingly brief; it can be read in an hour, and carried in a pocket. One has the sense of merciless experience mercilessly distilled to its essence . . . To read it is to lose one's own innocence about the Holocaust all over again." (Ruth Franklin, The New Republic)	"hi i;m a new obsessed fan...probably too old to feel that way, but i can't stop reading the books! my fam never sees me anymore! can;t wait for new moon! i;m dying!!!" (Mindy, "Twilight Fans" group on Facebook)
WINNER: Night
Film adaptation?	No	Yes
WINNER: Twilight

FINAL SCORE: Night 6, Twilight 2. The biggest walkover in any Cage Match so far. I can tell you're shocked.