Friday, July 13

Figure it out. I can't.

As a follow-up to this post, in which I pondered the possibility of offing myself due to the fact that former JonBenet Ramsey murder suspect John Mark Karr has a girlfriend and I do not, I bring you the news that Karr's significant other has shown her face in public. Here they are at the Fulton County Courthouse in Atlanta, where misdemeanor domestic-abuse charges against Karr were dropped this morning:





She looks . . . normal. I could see how one might even describe her as "cute." At the very least, she's not someone you'd be ashamed to go out in public with -- doesn't weigh 350 pounds, doesn't have a hunchback, etc. She's even of a reasonable age (even if, at 22, she's 20 years younger than he is, which I'm not sure whether that should make me feel better or not).

So I don't know. Somebody, help me out here. Help me understand.

Until then, I guess the ol' head's going back in the oven.

12 comments:

Rural Writer said...

You crack me up!

jen said...

I seriously question the mental stability of someone who would [a]wear white stockings with a black outfit, [b]wear those shoes with that outfit, and [c]wear white stockings with those shoes.

Josh said...

She's clearly fucking looney tunes. Read that as "she's fucking crazy" or "she's fucking a crazy guy." Works either way.

Tommy said...

Doug,
Remember the advice Trent gave Mike in Swingers:

"I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man."

I'm offering this not as advice to you, but rather as a possible explanation for John Mark Karr, about whom the best that can be said is that he is safely in Rated R territory. What can I say? The ladies love a freak.

TideDruid said...

Don't get so down on yourself man. If you wanted a girlfriend who carries around a blank stare all day, I know you could do it.

DC Trojan said...

I'm with Jen, anyone who wears white hose with open-toe black shoes is screaming for help. Obviously no-one intervened and look where she ended up.

DirkDawggler said...

Doug,

This individual probably has no self-esteem whatsoever. The person in question probably comes from a family that has some members that were/are successful, but for whatever reason, the person cannot find happiness and has latched onto a total loser.

But enough about Tommy Bowden...

some chick w/ a boy's name said...

A) She's clearly an attention-seeking nutcase.

B) For every single white man in Atlanta, there are approximately 18,768.2 single white women, so even creepy whackjobs like John Mark Karr can afford to be picky enough not to date 350-pound beast-women.

C) Not sure if anyone noticed, but the color of her legs matches her arms. I don't think she's wearing hose - I think she's just that pale. As a woman with damn-near-glow-in-the-dark skin myself, I've unforunately had people confuse my skin color for white hose too.

Phain said...

**new girl commenting around here - waving hi!!**

he's paying her - i'm guessing at least a few $k for each public appearance. maybe she'll get a bonus for some pda.

ok. that thought makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

Chris in Seattle said...

Obviously this chic's into humiliation. She's definitely not an ugly dog, but I'm surprised she isn't wearing a collar and leash like a good slave. I wonder if they wear each others' dirty underwear?

The Fashion Diva said...

According to Inside Edition, her ex is a circus performer - Nuff said.

Universal REMONSTER said...

Alright Doug. That's it. I'm tired of hearing you complain. Next Bulldawg game we both attend I'm taking you out to the bars with a couple of friends after the game so we can play a little game called "Hi! Have you met Doug?" Trust me, it works.