Would you care for a glass of champagna? I knew you would. I knew you enjoy champagna. How do I know this? Because I love women.

What kind of host would I be if I did not attend to your beautiful coat, my little wildflower.

I was intrigued to learn (courtesy of Thighs Wide Shut) that Elisha Cuthbert and her fiancée are apparently on the outs. Not only that, but regular reader Bill from JC hipped me a few weeks ago to the fact that Elisha is presently a blogger -- a hockey blogger, no less. Which is perfect, because I have but three passions in life. One of which is fine champagna . . . which leaves two other passions. Single women, and sports.


What have we here? Bugles with cream cheese. We got . . . ants-on-a-log . . . hello! Combos . . . they cheese your hunger away! Enjoy while I freshen up.

So the fact that Elisha may be on the market again is obviously a good thing, though it also presents its share of problems -- you know, I'd kind of had this thing going on with Keira Knightley, though with her in England and me in the B-hizzy and all, it's been one of those long-distance-type things, so . . . I don't know. Then of course there are those persistent rumors that I'm in some way responsible for Jessica and Nick breaking up (I can assure you that whatever happened between me and Jessica was a long time ago). I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

Maybe I'll have Elisha over tonight -- we'll talk some hockey and drink some fine champagna, and then watch the season finale of "Nip/Tuck." The sun is set, the stars shine in the sky, the night air is tinged with anticipation . . .