Monday, November 16

Monday Morning Cage Match XXII:
City Slicker vs. Shitty Predictor.

After a moving/family-gathering-induced one-week hiatus, the Cage Match is back with a matchup I'm surprised I didn't think of before now: Actor/comedian Billy Crystal vs. commentator/editor Bill Kristol. Oddly enough, I'm pretty sure Kristol has more "Daily Show" appearances under his belt, but it remains to be seen how well he'll hold his own in the other categories.

Billy Crystal

Bill Kristol
Early yearsPerformed regularly at The Improv, then got the role of gay ventriloquist Jodie Dallas on "Soap"Taught politics at a couple of Ivy League schools, then got the role of chief of staff to Reagan's secretary of education
WINNER: Crystal
Big breakJoined the cast of "Saturday Night Live" in 1984Founded The Weekly Standard in 1994
WINNER: Crystal
Best known forRepeated appearances as host of the Academy AwardsRepeated appearances on every political talk show you can think of
Biggest mistake"Fathers' Day"/"My Giant"Full-throated support for the Iraq War
WINNER: Crystal (but not by much)
Attempt at a comeback"Analyze This"/"Monsters, Inc."Full-throated support for Sarah Palin as John McCain's 2008 running mate
WINNER: Crystal
How'd that work out?Good reviews and more than $700 million in worldwide grossesFirst Democratic president in eight years
WINNER: Kristol
Sage wisdom"No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.""[Saddam Hussein]'s got weapons of mass destruction . . . Look, if we free the people of Iraq we will be respected in the Arab world."
WINNER: Crystal

FINAL SCORE: Billy Crystal 6, Bill Kristol 2. Lesson: It is better to be unfunny some of the time than to be wrong all of the time.

1 comment:

Ollllddude said...

You were too kind to Bill Kristol, imo. I can stand the 'Pub buffoons - schtick is schtick - but Bill Kristol thinks of himself as an intellectual, and come to doing things like defending Sarah Palin as a viable leader without admitting it is schtick.