Wednesday, November 19

Olive Garden Confidential: Fourth in a series.

Here is "Flashpoint," the fourth in our series of alternate-reality Olive Garden ads. And also the final, unless someone can tell me where to find an embeddable version of the ad where the dad insists he "didn't know" it was Never-Ending Pasta Bowl Day at the O.G. I've got an idea in mind for that one but can't quite remember how the dialogue goes. Anyhoo . . .



WAITRESS: Can I take your order?

MAN: Yeah, I'll have the stuffed chicken marsala.

WOMAN: Oh, me too.

MAN: You know what, then I'm gonna get the stuffed chicken limone.

WOMAN: Ooh, that sounds good too.

MAN: Really? Seriously? We're doing this again?

WOMAN: What?

MAN: You know, the thing where I can make up my mind and you can't, so you just do whatever I'm doing, and then you sit there and complain about how much you hate it?

WOMAN: I do not do that.

MAN: Oh, you don't, huh? So when you couldn't decide what you wanted to do when our cruise stopped in Cozumel, and you ended up coming deep-sea fishing with me, you loved that? 'Cause all I remember is you bitching for six solid hours about how all you wanted was to go back to our cabin and read a book.

WOMAN: Mark, I can't believe you're doing this in public.

MAN: OK. Fine. You know what? Why don't I get the limone, you get the marsala, and we'll switch.

WOMAN: WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO CONTROL ME?

ANNOUNCER: Try two great dishes from Olive Garden! Stuffed chicken marsala, bursting with Italian cheeses and sun-dried tomatoes and creamy marsala sauce. And new stuffed chicken limone in a light lemon-butter sauce -- both with endless salad and bread sticks.

MAN (as their plates are set down): Switch?

WOMAN: Oh, you think you can throw me a few crumbs off your chicken limone and that'll make it all better? My mother was so right about you.

ANNOUNCER: Olive Garden -- when you're here, you're family!

4 comments:

Universal Remonster said...

Oh lord. Sounds like my ex-fiance.

Jason said...

May I suggest my favorite commercials for absurdity, Kay Jewelers, are RIPE for this kind of series

ACG said...

I'll have to suggest Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry. "He went to Jared." "He went to Jared." "He went to Jared." It's basically the jewelry equivalent of whispering to your husband, "He took her to Olive Garden."

Gabby and Co. said...

Hey Doug,

Have you seen this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKZS4Jn6gRM