Saturday, September 13


With apologies to Walt Whitman

O Ballcoach! my Ballcoach! the fearful game is done;
The QB weather’d every sack, and threw for 271;
Wofford is near, the bells I hear, the people all are cheering,
While follow eyes young Jared Cook, McKinley's return is nearing:
But O heart! heart! heart
O the hated black and red,
Who dealt the blow, my Ballcoach lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Ballcoach! my Ballcoach! there is no finer feller;
You lifted our benighted 'Cocks from the East Division cellar;
For you bouquets and bedsheet signs, for you the fans a-teeming;
For you they call, the drunken mass, their eager faces screaming;
Here Ballcoach! dear genius!
This visor off your head;
It is some dream that on the turf,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Ballcoach does not answer, his lips stand still and pout;
The genius heart, it beats no more, for Whitlock broke his route;
The Cockaboose is safe and sound, but its bell a dirge intones;
From Smelley's hands, the last pass lands, picked off by Reshad Jones;
His Gator years brought rage and tears,
But from Gainesville he fled,
And in S.C. my Ballcoach be,
Fallen cold and dead.


Peter said...

golf clap

Anonymous said...

The #2 team in the country should score more than 1 touchdown against a team that lost to Vandy. Hello polls, going down?

Will Queen said...

After that game, I'm fine with Oklahoma jumping us if it motivates our guys to play some f'ing ball. And motivates Willie Martinez to make an adjustment in the secondary when there's a hole the size of Alaska in the middle of the field.

Anonymous said...

really? you're going to crow about this? with a seriously down-market whitman parody?

Doug said...

If it drives Spurrier a few steps closer to retirement, then yes, I'll crow about whatever I please.

By the way, if you thought the Whitman goof was "down-market," just wait 'til you see the rest of the blog, Voltaire. Welcome!

Holly said...

This one day has brought me more glee than the previous two weeks combined.

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to believe that we could end-up the year undefeated and #4 or #5 in the polls. This team doesn't have the eye of the tiger. Looks more like another underachieving, poorly coached Richt team.

Chris said...

really? You're going to badmouth a victory against a Spurrier-coached team? You're going to say that holding a team to 18 yards rushing is poorly coached? You're going to suggest that winning all of our games, playing in the SEC, but not doing it by scoring 50 on everyone will be disappointing? Sorry naysayers, and especially anon. 9:31, a win is a win, and keep in mind- if we are undefeated at the end of the year, we will NOT be 4 or 5. Guaranteed.

We saw that we could win a close game on the road. We found out what happens when we force our corners and safeties to make it all happen without the blitz. We found out that Stafford can win a game for us when the receivers get the dropsies, and the run game is eliminated.

I'm glad we found this out early in the year when we can make some adjustments.

Anonymous said...

Stafford missed too many open receivers.

aux arcs said...

Very nice, Doug; very nice!

Anonymous said...

Fucking brilliant, Doug. Brilliant. That game turned out about like I thought it would - massive defensive struggle, and we won by 7 which is about what the pros that set lines thought. I am disappointed only in some aspects of our play (penalties) and even then, the one called on R. Jones in the end zone was a brilliant play on his part to stop the almost certain TD. Not all penalties are bad, imo, and as further proof of that see LSU last year. We still had too many, but I am not at all concerned. Relieved is more like it.

Anonymous said...


ChicagoDawg said...

That is high art of the first order, and should be required reading in Lit classes for decades to come....well done sir.