That would be my birthday, people -- the big two-niner, just a scant 12 months until I have to start acting like a grownup and shit -- but it's not just me. While you pay me your respects and shower me with love, accolades and, hopefully, gifts of some tangible monetary value, don't forget to save some well-wishing for these fine folks:
Cecilia Bartoli, mezzo-soprano opera singer (who turns 41 today).
Nikka Costa, pop singer (35).
Keith David, character actor/badass of such films as "Platoon," "Crash," and "Transformers" (51).
El DeBarge, '80s pop star (46).
Angelina Jolie, mother of four/goddess (32).
Robert Otto Marella, otherwise known as professional wrestler Gorilla Monsoon (would be 70 today).
Bar Refaeli, Israeli-born Sports Illustrated swimsuit model (22).
Rosalind Russell, actress and winner of Golden Globes, Tonys, and numerous other awards (would be a nice round 100).
Izabella Scorupco, "good" Bond girl from "GoldenEye" (37).
Parker Stevenson, original "Baywatch" cast member (55).
Dr. Ruth Westheimer, nice little old lady and sex therapist (79).
Noah Wyle, Dr. John Carter from "ER" (36).
And, of course, me.
Has any one day of the calendar been blessed with such a wealth of talent, style, and wisdom? I believe the word you're looking for is "no."