Thursday, June 7
Friday Not-So-Random Ten: Don't Say Nothin' Just Listen, I Got a Plan to Break Hilton Out of Prison.
That was quick.
Three days. Three freakin' days.
That's how long Paris Hilton lasted in the pokey before being released due to medical reasons. "Medical reasons" meaning a "fragile . . . mental state." "Fragile mental state" meaning "not liking jail." An extremely rare condition suffered by only about 99.99% of the people currently housed in U.S. correctional institutions.
Instead, she was released to spend the rest of her sentence under house arrest (contravening a direct order from the presiding judge). Yeah, Paris Hilton's house sounds like a horrible place to be. You could probably take all the homes and all the material goods I will ever own at any point in my life and it probably wouldn't be as much as what Paris Hilton has right now. The L.A. County sheriff defended his decision thusly: "My message to those who don't like celebrities is that punishing celebrities more than the average American is not justice." Well, OK, how about punishing celebrities at all? That doesn't offend your delicate sensibilities, does it?
My guess, and it's just a theory at this point, is that Hilton blew the court-ordered psychiatrist who diagnosed her "fragile mental state." Probably the sheriff, too.
Fortunately, Paris may have to go back to jail and serve the remainder of her sentence, but until then, I'm just going to laugh at anyone who suggests we need to repeal the federal estate tax. And here's Paris's Not-So-Random Ten, disinfected and full-body-cavity-searched:
1. Johnny Cash, "In the Jailhouse Now"
2. A Tribe Called Quest, "Stressed Out"
3. Morrissey, "You Know I Couldn't Last"
4. The Clash, "Should I Stay or Should I Go"
5. Fatboy Slim, "Because We Can"
6. Pet Shop Boys, "I Made My Excuses and Left"
7. The Las, "There She Goes"
8. Bent, "I Can't Believe It's Over"
9. Electronic, "Getting Away With It"
And the obvious #10:
10. Dead Kennedys, "I Fought the Law (And I Won)"
Your own Tens, be they Random or Not-So-, in the comments.