Monday, May 1

Hey Jenny Slater presents The Draft Day Collection®.

(Put together with the help of's customizable jersey generator. This is just satire, fellas -- please don't sue me.)

Atlanta Falcons D.J. Shockley Team Color Jersey
When the Falcons make a wise personnel and business decision for once, it's worth commemmorating. Become the first on your block -- though surely not the last -- to wear the jersey of Atlanta's newest hometown hero. Be warned -- if you don't, you'll probably end up being one of maybe only three people in the entire metro area who didn't. Get off your ass already!
Our Price: $219.99 (25% off with valid UGA ID or diploma)

Houston Texans Mario Williams White Jersey
For all we know, #1 overall draft pick Mario Williams could turn out to be one of the greatest pass rushers in the history of the NFL, but until then, this is what he'll be to most Texans fans. Relive one of Draft Day 2006's head-scratchingest moments with this diamond-back mesh Texans jersey. Makes a pretty shrewd political statement these days, too.
Our Price: $74.99 (+ $4.99 for each sack in the 2006 season)

Arizona Cardinals Leonard Pope Team Color Jersey
Benedict XVI won't have anything on you when you wear the jersey soon to be made famous by one of the NFL's most massive rookie tight ends ever. Caution: May frighten small children.
Our Price: $89.99 (Extra lines of text $4.99 ea.)

Arizona Cardinals Leonard Pope White Jersey
Because just one jersey for a guy like Leonard Pope just isn't enough. You know Leonard Pope -- 8'9", 750 pounds, can eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing? He once scissor-kicked Angela Lansbury, and his semen can form a liquid human, like the guy from "Terminator 2." This team jersey does not take any crap from other team jerseys! Available in sizes XXL, XXXL, and XXXXL only.
Our Price: $109.99

Green Bay Packers A.J. Hawk White Jersey
Show your Packers pride and wear the same jersey as the Pack's new rookie linebacker, who's been a fan favorite ever since his star-making turn as Fred "The Ogre" Palowakski in the 1984 hit "Revenge of the Nerds." Order today and get a Packers cheesehead for 50% off and make it a classy gameday ensemble!
Our Price: $74.99 (with cheesehead $83.98) special: Courtesy Laura Quinn Couture, make your Hawk jersey a limited-edition two-team hybrid sewn together from a Packers #50 (right side) and an Ohio State Buckeyes #47 (left). Only 100 will be made, probably with good reason -- order today!
Our Price: $79.99

Washington Redskins Kedric Golston Team Color Jersey
Opposing quarterbacks will run in fear when they see you wearing the jersey of the 'Skins' next DT sensation.
Our Price: $89.99

Virginia Tech Marcus Vick Team Color Jersey
Enjoy all the teenager-seducin', expired-license-carryin', leg-stompin', pistol-brandishin' fun of being former Hokie sensation Marcus Vick in this #5 replica jersey, which we're trotting out because, well, dude didn't get drafted. Rest assured we'll have an NFL replica up here the minute someone signs him as a free agent, but . . . well, we're not holding our breath.
Our Price: $49.99 $39.99 $14.99 Best Offer

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